A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared
by AngelEyes87
Summary: What happens when the Soul Calibur characters air their problems on a talk show? CHAPTER 14: Hwang and Yun Seong are rivals in their love for Seong Mina and they are both determined to fight over her. However which one would Mina choose?...Please R&R ppl!
1. A Father's Plea To His Daughter

**A/N:** Hi everyone! This is my first fan fiction on here and I've decided to write one about Soul Calibur as it's one of my favourite games. This idea occurred to me not so long ago and I thought wouldn't it be interesting if the Soul Calibur characters aired their problems on a talk show. Hope you'll enjoy it and reviews are most welcomed – whether they are good, bad or some helpful criticism. Criticism would help me improve my writing. No flames please :)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the Soul Calibur characters as they belong to Namco. Though I do own my own character Jay. (No copying please.)

**A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared**

**By AngelEyes87**

**Chapter 1: A Father's Plea To His Daughter.**

"Hello, and welcome to _A Problem Aired Is A Problem Shared_," Jay greeted brightly, smiling widely "I am your host Jay and boy, do we have a good show for you today!"

"Take your shirt off baby!" screamed a girl who was holding up a sign saying _I Love Jay_. Her husband gave her a harsh look. She grumbled something that sounded like "sorry". Jay scratched the back of his head and laughed nervously. 'Why do I get this ALL the time?' he thought, sighing to himself.

"Uh...moving on," he said, regaining his composure. "today's show is about a touching story about a father trying to make things right with his estranged daughter." The audience made noises of "aww" in response. "He claims that he hasn't seen his daughter ever since she was born as he was too busy ripping everyone to shreds with Soul Edge for two decades. Would you please welcome on stage the Immortal Pirate, Captain Cervantes De Leon!"

Cervantes walked onto the stage as the crowd cheered him. 'Oh, my dear God!' Jay thought as he gaped at the sight of the purple skinned pirate. He nearly fainted in shock as he noticed his eyes were the colour of blood – not to mention the two strange swords he normally carried around with him. Jay gulped worriedly.

"Uh, Cervantes?" Jay cautiously approached the pirate as he sat down on one of the chairs.

"Aye, me heartie?" he asked, looking at Jay.

"You do know that you're not meant to have those with you," Jay told him, gesturing to his swords.

"Oh, I won't be doing any harm with them laddie!" Cervantes laughed. "If anyone just bothers me then I would just take their soul."

'Man, this guy freaks me out!' Jay thought, taking a few steps back. 'He's like the living dead, only worse...'

"So please tell us why you are here Cervantes."

"Yargh, well it's like this," he began. "After spending many countless years of spreading terror across every land and sea and just feeding people's souls to my terrifying blades, I suddenly had a change of heart."

"A change of heart?" Jay repeated, looking impressed. "Well, good for you."

"Thanks," Cervantes proudly said. "Anyway I want to prove I'm a changed man and the thing I want most of all is to see me daughter." Cervantes wiped away a few tears from his eyes, sniffing. "She is the only thing that I have left and I want her in my life again. We...we haven't been all that close throughout the years!"

Upon saying that, Cervantes burst out crying, which caused the audience to sob too. Jay pulled out a hanky from his pocket and kindly offered the pirate it. Cervantes snatched the hanky from his hands and rapidly start to blow his nose with it. A few minutes later Cervantes handed the hanky back to Jay in a rolled up ball.

"Eww!" Jay exclaimed as he threw the offending item to the ground. He shuddered, not wanting to think what was exactly in the hankie.

"So your daughter's name is Isabella Valentine, better known as Ivy?" he asked Cervantes nodded. "Well, what exactly do you want to say to her then?"

"Jay, I want to say to her that I want her to come with me to Spain," Cervantes explained. "Yargh , me and her will have a proper father-daughter relationship finally."

"Well we have her backstage right now so let's bring her out! Please give it up for...Ivy!"

Ivy stormed on stage with fire in her eyes, directly looking at the smiling Cervantes. All the men in the audience was wolf-whistling her as she was dressed in that purple outfit that left nothing to the imagination. Ivy glared fiercely at the audience as her Ivy Blade turned into a whip, hitting the floor with it.

"SILENCE!!"

All the men shut their mouths up while Jay discreetly checked for drool that was coming out from the side of his mouth. 'How does she wear that outfit in Winter?!' Jay thought, his eyes widening like saucers.

"Welcome to-" Jay trailed off when Ivy immediately interrupted him. She was more concerned with having a go at Cervantes.

"You!" she shrieked in anger, standing over a now covering Cervantes. "After all these years of not seeing me, WHY the hell do you want to act the concerned father now?!"

"Well Ivy, me dear-"

"Don't give me any more of your damn excuses!" Ivy growled viciously.

"Oooooo!" the crowd chorused in unison. Jay laughed nervously and placed a hand on Ivy's arm to calm her down.

"Come on Ivy, don't be that mad at him," advised Jay. "After all he's your-"

Before the word "father" left his mouth Ivy whirled around, aiming to cut off his head with her sword. Just in time Jay quickly ducked with a distinct "Eek!" and he heard something fluttering to the ground. He gasped in horror as he saw that seven or eight strands of his golden hair were scattered around on the floor. 'My hair!' he thought, cursing under his breath.

"All my life I thought my real father was deceased until my adoptive parents, on their death bed, told me the bloody truth!" Ivy raged. Even beneath his purple skin Cervantes was turning pale. "And sometime afterwards THIS female ninja called me 'Child of the Evil Blade'. How the hell do you think I FELT all these years, huh?!"

"Urm...er..." Cervantes stuttered, thinking his thirty two year old daughter scared him more than anything in the world. He was the most feared pirate who sailed the Seven Seas for God's sake! And now he was breaking out in a cold sweat when Ivy was practically acting homicidal! So much for being the Immortal Pirate...

"See, I knew you wouldn't care!" Ivy exclaimed, gripping her Ivy Blade tightly.

"Geez, I wouldn't like to be in Cervantes' shoes right now," Jay murmured lowly in absolute terror.

"You rarely...no, NEVER seen me when I was growing up," she argued, her face turning red from anger. "Now tell me that – is that WHAT a normal father would do?! Please, do you ever think I would forgive you for what you've done over the years!"

"Say, Cervantes – is Ivy's biological mother still alive do you know?" Jay added. The pirate in question was completely silent, only with a sheepish look on his face.

"Well?" Ivy demanded impatiently. "Answer him, you cold-hearted bastard!"

"Uh, she's dead," came Cervantes' quiet reply. A vein was throbbing noticeably on his forehead.

"She's what?" Jay questioned him. "Speak up louder please – I didn't quite catch that."

"OH FOR GOD'S SAKE, SHE'S DEAD!" Cervantes shouted at the top of his voice. The audience gasped in surprise as they heard this startling revelation. Jay stood rotted to the spot, hoping his bowels hadn't released yet. Ivy planted both hands on her hips, tapping her foot in frustration.

Jay cleared his throat, breaking the silence. "So...what exactly did happen to her then Cervantes?"

"Aye, well...mostly I would go to this inn which served as a secret hideout for me," he explained slowly. "and Ivy's mother was the daughter of the innkeeper. One night I was influenced by Soul Edge's immense power as it wanted me to take a spare host. Yargh, to cut a long story short I did the most unthinkable thing...I-I raped her and then she died when Ivy was born."

At this point Ivy was beyond pissed off and she was looking at Cervantes as if any minute she would kill him given the chance. 'Talk about having a dysfunctional family' Jay thought to himself. Cervantes uncomfortably wriggled in his chair under Ivy's menacing glare. Now this was going to turn ugly.

"My intentions were to keep Ivy alive so that she would act as a spare host for the sword," Cervantes added sheepisly.

Pausing for a few moment or so Cervantes had the nerve to look up at his fuming daughter and smiled warmly. "So how about it, me daughter? Now will you come to Spain with me and start afresh?"

"DIE, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!"

Ivy was choking Cervantes to death with the whip wrapped tightly around his neck. Jay watched on in horror as the audience grimaced in pain.

"Uh, that's all that we have today folks! Tune in for another edition of _A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared_!" Jay announced hurriedly. "SECURITY!!"


	2. The Trouble With Children

**A/N: **Thanks to all people who reviewed (RickyElRey, The Legend of Soul Emblem and Highwayman Myth) – your support means a lot to me :) A special thanks to RickyElRey for agreeing with me for the characters in this chapter. Well – it's not too late for new fans anyway. So here's Chapter 2 in 'A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared' and it includes the characters Raphael and Amy. A lot of you may have noticed that Amy doesn't say that much in the game other than her name and I couldn't help thinking what Raphael's reaction would be...

**Disclaimer: **I'm going to let Jay do the disclaimer this time :)

Jay: AngelEyes87 doesn't own the Soul Calibur characters as they belong to Namco.

AngelEyes87: But I do own Jay (smiles).

Jay: What?! I'm owned by a girl who comes from the same country as that Ivy? Ivy scares the hell out of me!

AngelEyes87: That's because I created you, you fool! (sighs). Can we just start with the story please otherwise I will make Ivy come after you.

Jay (cringes): OK, whatever you say.

**A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared**

**By AngelEyes87**

**Chapter 2: The Trouble With Children...**

"Hi there! Welcome to another episode of _A Problem Aired Is A Problem Shared_ and my name is Jay!" Jay exclaimed. Just then he turned serious, the grin fading from his face. "After what happened last week on the show Cervantes was taken to hospital and he was pronounced dead on arrival after being strangled to death by this daughter. On the other hand Ivy celebrated by going on holiday to Italy for two whole weeks."

Jay cringed just thinking about it. The security guards wouldn't do anything about Ivy chocking Cervantes with her Ivy Blade as they were too busy staring at her arse and her body to even care. He even tried to stop the situation but got himself puched harshly in the nose by Ivy, resulting him to have a major nosebleed. On top of all that, his boss threatened to fire him and get someone else to host the show if he didn't clean up on his act very soon. It was a total nightmare indeed to say the least for our poor Jay.

"After all that happened I'm very glad to still keep my job and that the show is still going on," he announced, sighing.

"Oi, Jay! How's your nose now?" a cocky man from the audience taunted him. "Did your mummy nurse it better for you?"

Everyone in the audience started sniggering including the man who said it. 'Yeah, let's see him come down here and say it!' Jay thought sarcastically, glaring at the people mocking him. 'I bet I could knock him out with just a single punch...'

"Now if you DON'T mind I would love to START the show now!" he snapped loudly. The audience immediately settled down. "Thank you! Today's show is about a father and his little girl. This twelve year old girl risked her life to save this man when he was on the run in his country of France. Ever since that day he repayed the girl and adopted her as his daughter. Ladies and gentlemen would you please welcome Count Raphael Sorrel onto the stage please."

"Holy mother of God!" Jay murmured to himself in shock as Raphael strolled onto the stage, bowing as the audience cheered him. Is Raphael some kind of a vampire?! Well he did look certainly un-human in Jay's opinion. 'Perhaps he doesn't go out that much during the day' Jay thought. Raphael sat down in one of the two chairs that were on the stage and smiled humbly at Jay.

"Welcome to the show Raphael," he said in a friendly voice. Raphael acknowledged Jay by giving a polite nod. "So tell me please why are you here today."

"Well, I am concerned about my Amy – she doesn't even speak!" explained Raphael, frowning. "I've tried everything to make her say proper sentences but all she does is say her name. I'm really worried about her, Jay."

"I would imagine so," he remarked, feeling sympathy for Raphael. He really sounds like a caring father figure to Amy and would do anything to make her happy and satisfied all the time. Jay appreciated that quality in him even though he didn't like the look of him. Raphael had these strange red eyes.

"Jay."

"Yes, Raphael?"

"Have you got any little ones of your own, dear boy?" Raphael asked gently.

"Uh..no," answered Jay, his eyes widening in surprise. 'Why the HELL would I have children – I'm only twenty three!' he thought.

"Well the most wonderful thing in the world is being a parent," Raphael claimed, smiling proudly. Jay rolled his eyes to the ceiling – he wasn't all that bothered about the whole parent's speech. "Amy means the ENTIRE world to me and she looks after me like a proper daughter should do. When I was infected by evil when I defeated Nightmare in Ostrheinsburg Castle she treated my wounds and-"

"Shall I bring Amy in then?" Jay said, interrupting Raphael from talking about his life story.

"YES!" the audience exclaimed, sounding like a speech therapist class. Jay walked straight to the backstage. They waited patiently for a moment or so before Jay finally came back – this time holding a red-haired little girl by the hand. Everyone made noises of appreciation while Raphael's eyes lit up with love.

"Wow, what a pretty girl you are, Amy," Jay complimented as she sat down on the chair next to her foster father. Amy giggled innocently and smiled at Jay. He then noticed that he had a small doll with her.

"Aww, what is the doll's name?" he asked, crouching down so he was eye-level with the child.

"Amy," she said shyly, blushing.

"Well, actually the doll's name is Rebecca," Raphael corrected, laughing slightly.

"So what it's like living in France, sweetheart?"

"Amy."

'Hmm, this is going to be difficult than I thought,' Jay thought to himself, running a hand through his hair. Raphael raised an eyebrow as if silently saying _See what I mean?_

"OK, Amy," Jay said patiently. "What's this?"

He pointed to his nose and she immediately followed up by answering, "Amy."

"No, it's my nose," Jay replied. Then he pointed to his shoe. "Can you name this for me?"

"A..am," Amy stumbled, trying to think of the correct answer.

"Come on now – it's not that hard,"he encouraged warmly. "It begins with the letter S."

"Amy!" the girl exclaimed happily. Jay sighed and shook his head in disbelief. He wondered how he can solve her problem.

"See, this is what I'm talking about," Raphael pointed out, frowning. "She won't say anything else and I've tried that already."

"Don't worry," Jay assured, thinking quickly. "I had the same problem with my two years old nephew and I solved it."

Just then he took Rebecca the doll off from her grasp. "Oh, look – I've got your dolly!"

Little did Jay know was that Rebecca was her most favourite doll in the world and she had some sort of an attachment to her. Amy's lips started to quiver and her eyes started to water up. Nobody, except Raphael, was allowed to hold her doll. She climbed off her chair to stand. Jay was just standing there waving the doll in front of her face.

"What are you going to do now Amy, huh?" Jay crooned. Just then Amy kicked him – right in the private parts. The audience winced in pain including Raphael.

"ARGHH, MY FRICKING DICK!" he yelled in agony as he dropped the doll from his grasp. Right away his hands went to the source of pain as he dropped to his knees. Unfazed by this, Amy bent down to pick her doll up, uttering the word "Dick."

Having heard this, Raphael jumped up and rushed to her side. "Amy. What did you say, little one?"

"Dick," Amy laughed. Tears of joy came from Raphael's eyes and he scooped her up in a hug.

"Oh, your first word..." he drawled as the audience applauded him and Amy. "Come now, Amy. We're going back home."

With that, Raphael and Amy walked off the stage, leaving only a cursing Jay kneeling down with this hands cradling his intimate parts.

"Sadly we have run out of time. Join us next time for another edition of _A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared_" Jay informed in a high-pitched voice. "Oh, my balls..."

**A/N: **Jay, you really can be such an mindless idiot at times...I hoped you enjoyed this chapter and reviews are most welcomed – and appreciated :) I'll be writing Chapter 3 soon and if anyone has any requests for a favourite character of theirs then please tell me and I'll see what I can do. I have a funny story about me playing as Nightmare in SC2 so if you'll like to hear it then ask hehe...


	3. Love Confession

**A/N:** Hehe, this story is getting popular so far – I'm glad:) Thanks Highwayman Myth and RickeyElRey for continuing reviewing. A big thanks to my newest fans (pawprint0110, Firestrider and mastersam). I really appreciate your reviews ;-) Anyway here's Chapter 3 in 'A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared' and it's about Xianghua and Kilik. I know this _is _an obvious pairing but you can see that Xianghua has some sort of romantic feelings towards Kilik in Kilik's endings in Soul Calibur 3. There's plenty of times that I wanted to shout at the TV, "Oh for God's sake, she's in love with you Kilik!" Anyway this is my take on what should happen between them two...

**Disclaimer: **Some one very important would like to do the disclaimer – no, it's not Jay again :)

Cervantes: Yargh, AngelEyes87 does not own the Soul Calibur characters. They belong to Namco, me hearties but she owns that Jay lad.

AngelEyes87 (stutters): Cer-Cervantes! What are you doing here? I thought-

Cervantes: Aye, everyone thought I was dead but as you can see I'm not.

AngelEyes87: But-but how did you revive?!

Cervantes: With the shards of Soul Edge of course (smiles evilly).Now come with me to hell!

AngelEyes87 (laughs): Your flies are undone.

Cervantes: Shit!

What, you _really_ thought that I killed Cervantes off? Guys, he is immortal, remember...

**A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared**

**By AngelEyes87**

**Chapter 3: Love Confession**

"Afternoon folks! I am your host Jay and welcome to yet another episode of _A Problem Aired Is A Problem Shared_!" Jay introduced. The grin on his face then suddenly widened out of joy. "As you would have remembered last week's show, Amy said her very first word and unfortunate for me I got kicked in the privates in the process."

"Yes, and I was the one who got him all better if you know what I mean," came a blonde woman's purr from the audience. Jay gaped at her in utter shock as she winked sexily at him. An uncomfortable silence lingered in the air for a few seconds. 'Why the hell DID she have to bring that up right now?!' Jay thought, groaning to himself.

"Leanne, I told you NOT to say a word about it," Jay quietly hissed to her, aware that everyone in the audience was listening to them.

"What?" Leanne pouted, sulking. "You wasn't complaining when I was giving you-"

"OK, now we have a letter from Raphael," Jay announced rather too loudly, instantly silencing Leanne from finishing off that sentence. Boy, that was a close one! "Do you want to listen to it?"

"Yes!" the audience chimed, obviously excited. Upon seeing the anticipation of the crowd, Jay whipped out a piece of paper from his inside pocket of his jacket and started to unfold it. He held the letter in front of him and cleared this throat before he started speaking again.

"Dear Jay. Thank you for ALL your help with Amy, dear boy," Jay read clearly. "If there is ANY way of repaying you then don't be afraid to ask. Little Amy is currently learning more words now other than just 'dick' and she is REALLY coming on so well. It brings a tear to my eye as my princess is now growing up. All the best with your show! Raphael."

'Aww, that's sweet of him,' Jay thought happily as he wiped a tear from his eye. It would seem that Raphael commended Jay for helping his foster daughter to speak properly. Jay looked smugly at the audience as they applauded him, worshipping him as though he was some kind of God. He put the letter back in his pocket and gestured for the people to hush.

"Anyway today's show is about this brave twenty year old Chinese warrioress," he informed."who once saved the world by defeating Nightmare with the spirit sword Soul Calibur. After four years of knowing this quarter-staff wielding man, she realised that she's deeply in love with him and she wants to be his lover for the rest of her life. Please welcome Chai Xianghua!"

"Hey!" Xianghua greeted, giggling as she walked onto the stage. Jay couldn't take his eyes off the attractive petite woman that the crowd was cheering. She was dressed in one of her colourful Chinese attires. Although she looked cute and innocent, something told Jay that deep down inside she could be quite a handful. 'Well, whoever it is she loves then he is one lucky son of a gun,' Jay thought as she gracefully sat down on a chair.

"Welcome to the show Xianghua."

"Thanks! It's great to be here Jay."

"So I understand that you have a crush on this man called Kilik," he told her gently. At the mention of the name "Kilik", she blushed and started chuckling. "He must be VERY special to you then."

"Yes, he is!" confirmed Xianghua whilst nodding her head. "I love Kilik very much and I'll do anything for him. Despite the fact he has SOME evil in him, I think his heart is in the right place and he is such a wonderful and caring person."

"Was it true that you carried him back to his master's place after this man with a scythe attacked both of you?" Jay questioned her.

"Yep," she exclaimed. A dreamy look appeared on her face. "I couldn't leave him injured so I knew I had to help him. Oh, I wish I can tell him how I feel about him..."

"Well, here's your chance to! Please welcome Kilik onto the stage everyone!"

The audience started clapping as soon as Kilik appeared on stage with a friendly smile on his handsome face. Xianghua almost fell off her chair upon seeing his bare muscular chest – along with a few other ladies. 'Hmm, she could do better in my opinion,' Jay thought in his head. He then glanced over at Xianghua who was clearly swooning. Kilik's eyes lit up with warm affection as he took a seat next to Xianghua.

"So what do you want to say to Kilik then, Xianghua?"

She shifted her chair even closer to Kilik and placed a tender hand on his arm. "Kilik, I've been keeping a secret from you from the past four years. I've been wanting to tell you this for a long time now but now is the right time to tell you...I'm in love with you Kilik."

"You're WHAT?!" Kilik exclaimed in surprise, his eyebrows shooting up. Xianghua bewilderedly stared back at her love interest. "Please tell me this is the part where you say 'Just kidding!' while winking at me."

"Of course not!" she retorted with a scowl. "This time I am NOT kidding. I'm being serious."

"Kilik, I have to agree with Xianghua on what she is saying here," Jay pointed out. "What, you wasn't aware of her feelings for you all this time?"

"Well, yes," Kilik admitted, glancing down at the floor. "I thought she had a crush on someone else."

"And who would that be?" Jay asked. Kilik still wouldn't look up.

"Maxi," he muttered lowly.

"MAXI?! Xianghua shouted, fire burning in her eyes. "What made you think I was in love with Maxi?!"

It was then at that moment Kilik decided to look up. When Xianghua was angry she didn't look a pretty sight. Kilik thought it would be best if he chose his words carefully otherwise Xianghua might hit him out of temper. The last time she had hit him was a few months ago when for a joke he had hid her mother's sword, making her think she had lost it.

"It was because you was spending so much time with Maxi," Kilik reasoned, trying to calm her down. "Every time I would glance over I'd see you and him talking ALL the time."

"Oh Kilik," she sighed, looking fondly at him again. "I was only telling Maxi how I felt about you and he was suggesting that I should tell you myself. There is nothing going on between me and him and you can ask him that. You're the only one I want Kilik and I mean it."

"By the way who on Earth is this Maxi you're talking about?" Jay demanded out of curiosity.

"Oh, he's just as friend of ours," Kilik answered. "We met him at a dock in India."

Xianghua smiled girlishly at Kilik. "So what do you say Kilik, do you want us to be lovers?"

"Xianghua, you know that you've always been like a sister to me just like Xianglian was," he said gently. "and I want us to be just more than friends."

"AWW!" the audience crooned as Kilik took Xianghua in his arms and gave her a sweet kiss. 'I bet they would want me to organise their wedding for them,' Jay thought, scratching his head in wonder.

"Well congratulations to you two! I'm afraid that we have now run out of time so please join us next time for another episode of _A Problem Aired Is A Problem Shared_," Jay commented. "So Leanne baby, how about we go back to my place so we can...OUCH!"

**A/N: **Finally, Xianghua and Kilik are together just like the rest (well mostly me!) wanted! I just hope they have a romantic relationship in Soul Calibur 4 – fingers crossed! Don't forget to review – I appreciate them more than ever :) Oh, and if you have a request for any character or characters then please say so. I will update on this very soon!


	4. Love Confession Version 2

**A/N: **First of all I just want to say a big thank you to Firestrider, Highwayman Myth and RickeyElRey for their honest comments and opinions on the last chapter :) I agree with them that Chapter 3 wasn't as funny like the first two chapters and this is the second version of the last chapter. You see, I like to listen to my readers and take what they say seriously and from their comments I can improve my work. Hopefully Version 2 is much better than the last one and most importantly funny too ;-) So guys, this is dedicated to you! Oh, and thanks to Ino-ChanLove and Z-Raviel for reviewing Chapter 2 and Sleepyhog and BelleDayNight for reviewing Chapter 3 hehe...

**Disclaimer: **Maxi is going to help me with this one :)

Maxi: AngelEyes87 doesn't own the Soul Calibur characters but she owns Jay, guys.

AngelEyes87 (mutters): Yeah, if I did own it instead of Namco, I would be earning all the money in the world...

Maxi: This chapter _is _going to feature me as well, right? (glares) Unlike last time!

AngelEyes87: Yes, it is! Now quit your talking and let's get on with the story (sighs).

Maxi: Not until you say sorry.

AngelEyes87: For what?!

Maxi: For leaving me out last time. I do have loads of fans, you know! After all, I am the Dandy of the South Seas.

AngelEyes87 (impatiently): All right, all right! I'm sorry (shrugs shoulders) Now are you happy?

Maxi: No, not until I find Astaroth to avenge-

AngelEyes87: Hush! The story is starting.

**A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared**

**By AngelEyes87**

**Chapter 4: Love Confession Version 2.**

"Afternoon folks! I am your host Jay and welcome to yet another episode of _A Problem Aired Is A Problem Shared_!" Jay introduced. The grin on his face then suddenly widened out of joy. "As you would have remembered last week's show, Amy said her very first word and unfortunate for me I got kicked in the privates in the process."

"Yes, and I was the one who got him all better if you know what I mean," came a blonde woman's purr from the audience. Jay gaped at her in utter shock as she winked sexily at him. An uncomfortable silence lingered in the air for a few seconds. 'Why the hell DID she have to bring that up right now?!' Jay thought, groaning to himself.

"Leanne, I told you NOT to say a word about it," Jay quietly hissed to her, aware that everyone in the audience was listening to them.

"What?" Leanne pouted, sulking. "You wasn't complaining when I was sucking on your-"

"That's enough!" he growled, instantly silence Leanne from finishing off her sentence. Boy, that was a close one! "We have just received a letter from Raphael. Do you want to hear it?"

"Yes!" the audience chimed, obviously excited. Upon seeing the anticipation of the crowd, Jay whipped out a piece of paper from his inside pocket of his jacket and started to unfold it. He held the letter in front of him and cleared this throat before he started speaking again.

"Dear Jay. Thank you for ALL your help with Amy, dear boy," Jay read clearly. "If there is ANY way of repaying you then don't be afraid to ask. Little Amy is currently learning more words now other than just 'dick' and she is REALLY coming on so well. It brings a tear to my eye as my princess is now growing up. All the best with your show! Raphael."

'Aww, that's sweet of him,' Jay thought happily as he wiped a tear from his eye. It would seem that Raphael commended Jay for helping his foster daughter to speak properly. Jay looked smugly at the audience as they applauded him, worshipping him as though he was some kind of God. He put the letter back in his pocket and gestured for the people to hush.

"Anyway today's show is about this brave twenty year old Chinese warrioress," he informed."who once saved the world by defeating Nightmare with the spirit sword Soul Calibur. After four years of knowing this quarter-staff wielding man, she realised that she's deeply in love with him and she wants to be his lover for the rest of her life. Please welcome Chai Xianghua!"

"Hey!" Xianghua greeted, giggling as she walked onto the stage. Jay couldn't take his eyes off the attractive petite woman that the crowd was cheering. She was dressed in one of her colourful Chinese attires. Although she looked cute and innocent, something told Jay that deep down inside she could be quite a handful. 'Well, whoever it is she loves then he is one lucky son of a gun,' Jay thought as she gracefully sat down on a chair.

"Welcome to the show Xianghua."

"Thanks! It's great to be here Jay."

"So I understand that you have a crush on this man called Kilik," he told her gently. At the mention of the name "Kilik", she blushed and started chuckling. "He must be VERY special to you then."

"Yes, he is!" confirmed Xianghua whilst nodding her head. "I love Kilik very much and I'll do anything for him. Despite the fact he needs the Dvapara-Yuga around his neck at ALL times to keep him from going crazy and killing people, I think his heart is in the right place and he is such a wonderful and caring person."

"Was it true that you carried him back to his master's place after this man with a scythe attacked both of you?" Jay questioned her.

"Yep," she exclaimed. A dreamy look appeared on her face. "I couldn't leave him injured so I knew I had to help him. Oh, I wish I can tell him how I feel about him..."

"Well, here's your chance to! Please welcome Kilik onto the stage everyone!"

The audience started clapping as soon as Kilik appeared on stage with a friendly smile on his handsome face. Xianghua almost fell off her chair upon seeing his bare muscular chest – along with a few other ladies. 'Hmm, she could do better in my opinion,' Jay thought in his head. He then glanced over at Xianghua who was clearly swooning. Kilik's eyes lit up with warm affection as he took a seat next to Xianghua.

"So what do you want to say to Kilik then, Xianghua?"

She shifted her chair even closer to Kilik and placed a tender hand on his arm. "Kilik, I've been keeping a secret from you from the past four years. I've been wanting to tell you this for a long time now but now is the right time to tell you...I'm in love with you Kilik."

"You're WHAT?!" Kilik exclaimed in surprise, his eyebrows shooting up. Xianghua bewilderedly stared back at her love interest. "Please tell me this is the part where you say 'Just kidding!' while winking at me."

"Of course not!" she retorted with a scowl. "This time I am NOT kidding. I'm being serious."

"Kilik, I have to agree with Xianghua on what she is saying here," Jay pointed out. "What, you weren't aware of her feelings for you all this time?"

"Well, yes," Kilik admitted, glancing down at the floor. "But I've found someone else..."

"WHAT?!" Xianghua was completely shocked by what Kilik just said. This couldn't be happening to her. It was damn well written in the game that they SHOULD be together!

"And who would that be?" Jay asked. Kilik still wouldn't look up.

"Kilik, if you don't tell me right now I will shove Kali-Yuga up where the sun doesn't shine!" Xianghua threatened, obviously pissed off.

It was then at that moment Kilik decided to look up which wasn't a wise decision. When Xianghua was angry she didn't look a pretty sight. The last time he had pissed her off so much was a few months ago when for a joke he had hid her mother's sword, making her think she had lost it. As a result he was sent flying into a tree when Xianghua had punched him so hard. Poor Kilik's face was so swollen from the bruises that he couldn't eat properly for a whole month. He had a feeling that this was going be even worse than that day.

"Uh, erm," Kilik stuttered, nervous as hell.

"Uh, erm – what?" Xianghua demanded impatiently, on the verge of getting up from her seat to lunge at him.

"I-I'm in love with Maxi," he blurted out, blushing.

"MAXI?!" she yelled, fire burning in her eyes. "What-how-why...? Oh, I'm SO going to kill you Kilik!"

Kilik immediately shot up onto his feet and slowly backed up while a very furious Xianghua was vastly advancing on him.

"Who on Earth is this Maxi you're talking about?" Jay asked out of curiosity. However his question went ignored.

"Hold on (hiccup) did anyone call for (hiccup) me?" Maxi slurred as he staggered onto the stage, barely walking in a straight line. 'Oh, my God. He's DRUNK!' Jay thought, staring at Maxi as he tripped over his feet then managed to get back up again.

"Oh Maxi!" Kilik exclaimed, happy to see his lover. He hid behind Maxi's back. "Help me please – Xianghua is trying to kill me because I love you instead of her!"

"Now (hiccup) hold on - " Maxi started to say, trying to calm her down in his drunken state.

"NO! YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU DRUNK SON OF A BITCH! WHY THE HELL WOULD KILIK FANCY YOU?! AT LEAST I HAVE BETTER HAIR THAN YOU. NO WONDER PEOPLE OFTEN CONFUSE YOU WITH ELVIS PRESELY!"

"What? Now you are getting (hiccup) fricking personal," Maxi growled, barely unable to keep standing still. "Kilik has never (hiccup) loved you so why (hiccup) don't you shut your-"

Maxi was sent flying to the floor as Xianghua punched him while Kilik whimpered in fear as Maxi wasn't there to protect him from her. 'Oh shit, she is going to murder someone here,' Jay thought as he backed away cautiously. Kilik had to think of something quick to save himself.

"Xianghua, please listen to me before you do something you might regret," Kilik begged. "You have always been like a sister to me just like Xianglian was and I loved Maxi ever since I first met him in India. I'm not in love you, all right?"

Xianghua settled down and just shrugged her shoulders. "Fine."

"Are you sure?" Kilik asked, a look of relief on his face.

"JUST KIDDING!"

Kilik made a sound of surprise as Xianghua landed an almighty punch which sent him flying backwards. His face connected harshly with the brick wall as his body slid down then slumping to the floor in a heap. Smiling with satisfaction, Xianghua left the stage with her head held high.

"I'm afraid that we have now run out of time so please join us next time for another episode of _A Problem Aired Is A Problem Shared_," Jay commented. "Now how the hell am I going to get these two off the stage?!"

**A/N: **Oh dear Lord...I am actually pissing myself laughing at this chapter. Anyway what should I do for my next chapter then? I've got a few ideas of my own but if you have any suggestions then that's great – tell me then hehe. I will write Chapter 5 very soon so don't worry :)


	5. Big Pimpin'

**A/N: **Sorry for not updating as soon as I wanted to! Just that I was busy with uni things – things like this happens hehe. Anyway I'd like to thank those who reviewed and they are Highwayman Myth, Firestrider, The Legend of Soul Emblem, pawprint0110, Razer Athane and finally RickyElRey – your support means a hell of a lot to me as always! Anyway here's Chapter 5 of 'A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared' and it includes the characters Rock and Bangoo. Now for those who aren't familiar with this, Bangoo is like the foster son of Rock (ever since I first played Soul Blade I really thought Bangoo was a girl lol). As you recall in SC3 Bangoo goes through a rite of passage in order to be a man so he travels across the sea and Rock wants to prove that he's worthy of being a father to Bangoo. I can just imagine what might happen when Rock is reunited with Bangoo after a long time...

**Disclaimer: **Since I had a special request from Highwayman Myth to include his main character (Myth) from his story Pirate of the Mediterranean in this disclaimer, I was more than happy to do it :)

Myth: The lovely signora AngelEyes87 does not own the characters from Soul Calibur (smiles).

AngelEyes87: However I do own Jay. (sighs happily) So, Nicholas...

Myth: No – please call me Myth. Only my father calls me Nicholas.

AngelEyes87: OK, Myth. Well I have to say I hope you get revenge on Cervantes finally after he killed your father and his crew.

Myth (nods): Yes, so do I. So far I've been on different adventures like saving this girl Hilde from these men with large swords and defeating opponents like Rock and Tira.

AngelEyes87 (giggles): Good for you signor (looks Myth up and down, noticing his "musketeer" attire). Well you do have such an...interesting suit on (grins goofily).

Myth: What, don't you like what I've got on?

AngelEyes87: Well, it's alright (laughs loudly). But there's something I have to say.

Myth (curiously): Which is...

AngelEyes87 (raises sword in the air): ALL FOR ONE AND ONE FOR ALL!

**A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared**

**By AngelEyes87**

**Chapter 5: Big Pimpin'**

"Hello to all you people out there! I'm your host Jay and you are watching _A Problem Aired Is A Problem Shared_," Jay exclaimed heartedly, chuckling slightly. He scratched his head, looking bewildered to say the least after recalling the events that took place on the last episode. "As you would have remembered on last week's show Kilik admitted to Xianghua that he loved Maxi after she finally told Kilik that she was in love with him and ALL hell broke loose afterwards."

Jay paused for a second, slightly biting the nail of his thumb as the audience waited for what he was going to say next. 'Oh, Lord...how am I going to tell them. Now they treat me like a laughing stock!' Needless to say the crowd were gradually getting impatient as good old Jay was taking his sweet time, deciding to choose his words carefully. A man in the second row was making growling noises and after a while he couldn't hold back his anger.

"WELL GET ON WITH IT, YOU PANSY BOY!" he roared. "COME ON, WHILE WE'RE STILL YOUNG!"

"Pansy boy!" Jay repeated, now furious. Just recently there were many rumours circulating around that Jay was gay as after the show Jay had a few many too drinks with Maxi and they both passed out in a bedroom together. "Why don't you come down here and say it to my face, you thug!"

"Yeah, just you watch," the man warned, unafraid of Jay. "I will bust a cap in your arse if you're not too careful."

Jay gulped worriedly as he wiped the sweat from his brow. This man sounded like a psycho – perhaps he escaped from a mental institute for all Jay knew. He didn't want to get killed – or even worse – by this man so Jay decided to do what he was told despite the following consequences.

"Well I'll be the first to say that Maxi and Kilik are NOT gay," Jinx murmured with a sheepish look. "Kilik just pretended that he was in love with Maxi to get Xianghua off his back as he was getting freaked out by her sexual advances and her obsession to settle down with him..."

As soon as the last word left Jay's mouth, the audience burst out laughing while pointing at him out of sheer humour. Jay lowered his eyes immediately to the ground, not wanting to see his cheeks blushing red. 'After four years training of TV, this is all I get – a bunch of uncontrollable hyenas taking the piss out of me!' After what seemed an hour or so, the snickering died down and Jay managed to glance back at his audience. He had to keep this show going on otherwise his boss would sack him.

"All right, today's show is about this English born man who from a young age grew up in the New World after his family's ship was attacked by another ship, resulting in the death of his mum and dad," Jay explained seriously. "He wanted to be accepted by one of the tribes there but they all feared him due to his immense strength and one day he was befriended by this orphan who is like a foster son to him. Ladies and gentlemen would you please welcome Rock!"

'Jesus, Mary and Joseph!' Jay thought as Rock came onto the stage as the crowd applauded him. Oh God, what the hell did Rock have on?! He was dressed in his usual attire consisting of a fur loincloth, knee-length high boots and some kind of animal skin to keep his upper body warm. Jay couldn't help but wonder why the hell he had chains around his chest not to mention the size and the bulkiness of Rock. 'Maybe he'll be good as an extra for gladiator movies,' Jay thought amusedly. Just before Rock sat down on a chair he politely shook Jay's hand – Jay winced as he felt his hand being crushed. Boy, Rock was strong! Jay stared in disbelief as his hand was throbbing very much and it was alarmingly starting to turn red too.

"Ouch...welcome to the show Rock," Jay informed, ignoring the pain in his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"It's such a honour to be here Jay," Rock boomed in his English accent. "I've heard so many good things about you. You really are a credit to the show!"

"Thanks," Jay smiled. He then cleared his throat. "So tell us why you're on the show please."

"Well about a few months or so ago, my dear foster son Bangoo went on a quest in order to become a true man. You see, we settled in Northern Europe and Bangoo was finding it hard to adjust to the environment. The first night he ALMOST died when he was walking on thin ice and he collapsed in a deep crevice. Naturally I rescued him from danger as I really care for him."

"If you don't mind me asking how old is this Bangoo?" asked Jay.

"Only eighteen," Rock proudly said, his eyes gleaming. "That same night he was worn out but he was in good spirits. I asked him if he was scared of nature and Bangoo said he did but he couldn't bring himself to hate it. Upon hearing that, I knew that the right time had come for him to descend into adulthood. One day he made a decision to travel the seas on his own and explore foreign lands in order to become a man."

"That's very admirable of him," Jay commented, nodding his head in agreement. Bangoo sounded like a tough young man. "But is it true that you once saved Bangoo as this Lizardman kidnapped him?"

"Very true," he confirmed. 'What will it take for him to just shut up?!' Jay thought, losing his patience. However despite all this, Rock continued. "I was on my second search for Soul Edge when that happened and I promised myself I would stay by his side forever. I just want to be reunited with him again as I have missed him terribly Jay."

Jay was surprised that he hadn't fallen asleep with the way Rock was carrying on. Sure, Rock could fight but he could even talk his opponent to death given the chance. They will get so bored with his long speeches that they would scream out in frustration and killing themselves on the spot.

"Okay, we have a surprise for you backstage Rock," Jay announced. Upon hearing this Rock's face lit up with pure excitement. "Give it up for Bangoo!"

"What the hell?" Jay exclaimed out of horror as Bangoo walked onto the stage, dressed like a pimp with his fashionable sunglasses and TOO much jewellery hanging around from his neck.

"WE'RE THE PIMPS IN THE HOOD, MA!" Bangoo sung loudly who was immediately followed by Valeria, Lynette and Hualin who were dressed in revealing outfits.

"DROP IT LIKE IT'S HOT, DROP IT LIKE IT'S HOT," the girls chanted in unison, dancing. "DROP IT LIKE IT'S HOT!"

Rock looked as if he almost suffered from a heart attack. "Bangoo, what in the world -"

"Hey there, dad!" Bangoo cheerfully greeted him by playfully punching his father's shoulder. "Respect to you!"

"What the HELL has happened to you, son?!"

"Yo, I had this REALLY good time in Holland – I stayed there for months on end," Bangoo explained as the girls stood up by his side, smiling widely. "You should have seen it; it's a man's paradise! There's plenty of alcohol, gambling, brothels and really hot looking hook-"

"BANGOO, IF YOU EVER TALK LIKE THAT AGAIN I WON'T HESITATE TO BEND YOU OVER MY KNEE AND SLAP YOUR BOTTOM HARD!" roared Rock, still in a state of shock and anger. Jay took a nervous step backwards – he wouldn't want to suffer Rock's wild-like wrath!

"Dad, THIS is who I am now," Bangoo reasoned, shrugging his shoulders as if to say he couldn't care less. "I am a man now and THAT is what you wanted for me. Since we're both here, there's something important I want to tell you."

"And what it is that?"

"I'm a pimp. Oh, and these girls are my hoes!"

"Oh, dear," Rock sighed as he swayed unsteadily. "I think I'm going to faint!"

"Shit!" Jay yelped as Rock was falling backwards, threatening to squash him. Before Jay even tried to get away safely, it was too late. Rock had already fallen on him. Jay was lying under the collapsed Rock and he was struggling to breath.

"That is all we got time for. Thanks for watching _A Problem Aired Is A Problem Shared_," Jay gasped, turning blue in the face. "GET HIM OFF ME!"

**A/N: **Ha, who would have thought that a trip around the world had change Bangoo for the worst...I wasn't even intending to include Lynette, Hualin and Valeria in this chapter so it was quite a surprise, even for me! The next character I'll be doing is good old Seigfried and it will include a cameo from both his parents and some other character but you'll just have to wait and see ;-)


	6. A Knight Repenting

**A/N: **For those of you who can't wait for the next chapter then you're in for a big treat as I've decided to update a bit earlier! Thanks to Link Guru, mastersam, Razer Athane, Highwayman Myth, The Legend of Soul Emblem, pawprint0110 and finally RickyElRey – you don't know how much your support means to me! Anyway here's Chapter 6 (bloody hell!) of 'A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared' and yes, it includes our favourite knight Siegfried! As you all know Siegfried is the main protagonist in the series and he was once Nightmare for seven years. In SC3 he manages to break free of the sword and decides to put an end to Soul Edge once and for all. In this chapter he is trying to repent for all the sins that he had committed when he was the dreaded Azure Knight...

**Disclaimer: **It seems that AngelEyes87 and Myth have some unfinished business from the last chapter when she said "All for one and one for all!" So I asked Highwayman Myth to include Myth once last time in the disclaimer and he agreed to it :)

AngelEyes87: Hi guys! You know the drill – Soul Calibur characters belong to Namco, not me. The only person I do own is Jay. So I -

Myth (from a distance): I will get you for what you said last time AngelEyes87!

AngelEyes87 (shocked) What the hell? I thought Myth was gone! (looks around) I got to escape! (runs and then sees Kilik standing not far.)

AngelEyes87: Kilik! You have to help me!

Kilik (curiously): Why?

AngelEyes87: Because Myth is after me and he wants to kick my arse! As a joke I _implied _that he was a musketeer from the clothes he was wearing.

Kilik (looks around and spots a bin) Well hide in there then.

AngelEyes87 (yelling): Are you mad?! It's filthy! (sighs) All right, I'll get in! (hides in the bin)

Myth (out of breath): Have you seen AngelEyes87?

Kilik (innocently): Nope. I think she went that way.

Myth: Thanks (walks away)

Jay (eating an apple): Hi Kilik.

Kilik: Hi Jay. (cringes when Jay goes to throw away his apple.)

Jay (smiles widely): MYTH! I FOUND HER, SHE'S RIGHT HERE!

AngelEyes87: Damn it Jay!

**A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared**

**By AngelEyes87**

**Chapter 6: A Knight Repenting.**

"Hi and welcome to another edition of _A Problem Aired Is A Problem Shared_! As you know, I am your host Jay," Jay announced. He chuckled slightly. "After what happened on last week's show Rock was taken to A&E as he fainted, resulting in me being almost CRUSHED to death. Meanwhile after the show Zack from _Dead or Alive _decided to become partners with Bangoo and now they own a private resort together and started doing volleyball tournaments with their hoes. Plus Bangoo has bought a hot looking pimp mobile!"

The audience started to applaud when all of a sudden AngelEyes87 came running onto the stage, screaming at the top of her voice with Myth in hot pursuit of her with his katana gripped firmly in his hand. 'There is NO damn way that she is going to ruin MY show!' Jay thought angrily.

"I hope you enjoy...YOUR TRIP!" With that, Jay stuck out his foot and tripped AngelEyes87 over.

"ARGHH!" she exclaimed as she fell face-down onto the floor. Myth smiled triumphantly as he stood over the fallen AngelEyes87.

"Looks like you're mine, signora!" Myth informed as he grabbed her by the collar of her silk shirt. Jay sarcastically waved goodbye to the kicking and screaming AngelEyes87 as Myth dragged her off-stage.

"Jay you will bloody pay for you've done!" she threatened before she disappeared finally. 'See if I care babe because I don't!' Jay thought with a smile. The audience started to glare nastily at Jay, causing him to throw his hands up in the air.

"So what?" he challenged them. "She deserved it anyway!"

"BOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Quiet!" Jay snapped, rapidly losing his patience. They all shut up when he said that.

As far as he was concerned he was the King of the show due to the simple reason is that he was the presenter of it. In some ways Jay was a changed man as the audience sometimes mocked him and he decided that it was best not to take any shit from them and put them back in their place if necessary. Because of this, Jay was starting to loose his loyal fans especially the females. After making a public announcement in a conference that he wasn't gay, all girls thought he was lying and Jay was thinking of a way to change all that. Maybe Jay could be like Bangoo and be a pimp – that will sure to get the girls back again!

"Anyway," he said. "today's show is about this brave twenty three years old German knight! At the tender age of sixteen he possessed the evil sword Soul Edge when he stumbled across Cervantes' corpse at Valencia Port. From that moment on he became the Azure Knight and his reign of terror over Europe lasted only seven years. He has currently returned back to normal again as he fought against the will of the sword. Please welcome onto the stage Sir Siegfried Schtauffen!"

Needless to say when Siegfried walked on stage the crowd went crazy for him especially every girl in the audience as they were swooning over the blonde hunk in his shining armour with golden long hair flowing down his back. Instantly Jay was jealous of the man and began sizing up a smiling Siegfried who was carrying the spirit weapon Soul Calibur in his hand. 'What a show-off he is! I mean who the HELL does he THINK he is?!' Jay thought bitterly as Siegfried sat himself down onto a chair.

"Welcome to the show Siegfried," Jay said through his clenched teeth.

"Why, thank you Jinx."

"The name is JAY," he corrected. Siegfried apologised at once. 'Is he doing this to wind me up?' Jay thought.

"So please tell us why you're here then."

"The reason why I'm on this show is that I want to repent for every one of my sin that I had committed when I was that foul Nightmare," Siegfried explained seriously with a sad smile on his face. "I have killed so many innocent people including sweet young children and feeding their souls to the cursed sword."

"Hmm, but what was the reason why you took Soul Edge?" he questioned, realising that deep down inside how much pain Siegfried was suffering.

"My father was on a crusade when I just turned sixteen and I fell into a group of bad people," he answered. "We called ourselves _Schwarzwind_, meaning Black Wind and one night we ambused a group of weary soldiers and I managed to kill the Commander. When I was holding the severed head up in triumph I was shocked that the head belonged to my father. I ACTUALLY convinced myself that someone else killed my father."

"What a weirdo,"Jay muttered quietly under his breath. "Every time he looked in the water and seen the reflection of himself, did he not realise it was HIM that killed his father?"

"Did you say something Jay?

"Yes, I was asking what happened next."

Siegfried looked at him closely as if to say he didn't believe him. Instead of saying something Jay gave him a fake smile to encourage him to continue his tale of sorrow.

"Anyway a few months later I came across Soul Edge and when I took hold of the sword, I had to battle Inferno and I defeated him. The voice of the sword promised me that if I feed souls to the blade then my father will be brought back to life – that's when I became Nightmare."

"So basically the sword was telling you lies and you committed a lot of massacres and killing people," Jay assumed, wondering if it was best to call the mental institute as Siegfried as scaring the hell out of him. There was no no doubt that he was suffering of schizophrenia.

"Yes," confirmed Siegfried, running a hand through his blonde locks of long hair. "At this moment I have to battle people who seek revenge on Nightmare who is now perished. Every time I close my eyes I could hear the whispering of the evil sword in my ears and also the cries of death. Now and again my right hand throbs as a reminder that I was once Nightmare."

"Well Night-I mean Siegfried, we have a surprise for you. Give it up for Margaret and Frederick Schtauffen!"

Both Siegfried's parents came onto the stage while the audience applauded wildly for them. The only person that Siegfried couldn't take his emerald green eyes off was his father. How could be still be alive after what took place seven bloody years ago?! Jay was staring at Siegfried in confusion – wasn't he happy to see his mother and father? Margaret rushed up to her son and hugged him tightly to her.

"Oh son, I have missed you so MUCH!" she said, sobbing slightly. Siegfried could only just stand there in absolute stunned silence. Margaret stepped back to admire her full-grown boy and then slapped Siegfried on his cheek.

"Oww!" he exclaimed. "What did you do that for?"

"That's for not coming back all these years!" she told him. "And look how long your hair is – now you look like a girl!"

"Mum, stop it. You're EMBARRASING me!"

Jay started to snigger out of sheer humour. 'This is too good to be true!' he thought smugly as he watched Siegfried turn a deep shade of red. Frederick laughed and stepped closer to his son, warmly touching him on his shoulder.

"It's been a long time son."

Siegfried's eyes widened in surprise. "Fath-Father?! How did you-?!"

"Fear not, Siegfried," Frederick soothed. "I was resurrected when you drove Soul Calibur into the eye of Soul Edge. I know you will repent for your sins, my boy and I forgive you."

"LIES! You ARE not my father!" Siegfried growled, slapping his father's hand off his shoulder. "You're nothing but a vision of that damned Soul Edge!"

"Nonsense!" he spluttered in disbelief.

"Begone evil and NEVER return again!"

At that moment the audience winced including Jay when Siegfried thrust his sword into the stomach of his father, thinking that the sword wouldn't pierce through the supposed spirit. Out of shock Margaret fainted and Frederick's body just collapsed onto the floor with quite a loud thud. Dismayed, Siegfried realised that his father was telling the truth and let out an anguished wail while falling to his knees.

"WHY ME?!" he shouted. "DAMN IT!"

"Looks like you had an 'Oops, I Did It Again' moment Blondie," Jay said.

"Wait a minute, the sword is here and I am here so what's-"

Siegfried was interrupted when something went crashing through the wall, destroying it completely. 'What the hell is happening?!' Jay thought worriedly as he was panicking like a headless chicken. Soon enough an un-human voice boomed furiously.

"GUESS WHO'S BACK, BACK AGAIN! MUHAHAHA!"

For as long as he live Siegfried never could forget that voice as he peered towards a menacing figure in azure armour, armed with Soul Edge.

"Oh God! Why the hell has he got a deformed claw?!" Jay shrieked as he cowered behind Siegfried, praying to God that he didn't die.

"Wretched soul," Nightmare mocked. "You can never run away from your sins!"

"I knew you were following me," Siegfried barked as he raised his sword. "All right, let's settle this!

"This time I will take my body back..."

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! The audience chanted with excitement.

With that, Nightmare and Siegfried were involved in a fierce duel. The crowd cheered wildly while they clashed swords with each other. Half of them were cheering for Siegfried to win while the other half supported Nightmare. Jay watched in horror as his studio as well as the furniture were being destroyed. He decided enough was enough as he couldn't stand watching his beloved show get ripped to bits by these crazy-arsed knights so being obviously pissed off, he walked up to the fighting men.

"OI you!" Jay roughly tapped Nightmare on the shoulder. "YOU better stop fighting otherwise I'll make you pay for the damage, you FREAK!"

Anger burning in his red eyes, Nightmare turned around, swinging his sword at Jay and sent him into orbit.

"ARGHHHHHHH!" Jay yelled as he went flying through the roof of the building, high into the sky. As soon as he saw the chance Siegfried managed to strike Nightmare down, resulting in his victory. The audience cheered and applauded him as he took a bow, surrounded by debris.

"Since Jay isn't here to say this, I will say it instead. We have run out of time and thanks for watching _A Problem Aired Is A Problem Shared_!" Siegfried said cheerfully, grinning. "Thank God I can go back to a normal life now!"

**A/N: **Phew, that was one hell of a long chapter – I hoped you enjoyed it. I bet you didn't think Nightmare would make an appearance in this hehe :) Let's just say that Jay will be replaced by someone else in the chapter and I won't say who it is. You'll just have to find out!


	7. To Kill Or Not To Kill

**A/N: **God, university has been a right pain in the arse as I had another essay to complete and the due in date is for this week so I apologise for not updating as soon as possible. I would like to thanks to all those who reviewed so far and they are Highwayman Myth, The Legend of Soul Emblem, pawprint0110, Link Guru, mastersam, Valkyrie Celes, Magic of WakaLaka, katana777, Jamseter211, Anji, myemailistoolong and Razer Athane – all you guys rock! Moving on here's Chapter 7 of 'A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared' and it is all about Tira or Little Miss Psycho Bitch as I call her hehe . As you know, Tira is the servant of the evil sword and is somewhat of a biplor character – the next minute she is smiling while the next minute she is frowning! In this chapter she is debating with herself on whether she should carry on killing or just break the habit so to speak.

**Disclaimer:** Looks like I'm on my own now!

AngelEyes87: Okay, since I've said this before I'll say it again. (smiles politely) I do not own the Soul Calibur characters and if I did I would probably make it better by adding better voice actors and adding new characters like me (winks cheekily) in the game. ( hear phone rings) Damn, I wonder who's phoning now. (answers phone) Hello.

Jay: Since I'm now FIRED, who the hell is going to cover the show for me? I hope you haven't cancelled it AngelEyes87 or-!

AngelEyes87 (interrupting angrily): Now WHY would I do that, Jay?! (sighs) Everything is sorted and someone is covering the show for you so just CHILL!

Jay (curiously): Who is it then?

AngelEyes87: Look, he's coming any second now so it doesn't matter. Anyway why should I tell you after what happened last time?

Jay (chuckles smugly): So, how did things go with Myth then? I hope he didn't make you walk the plank or something like that.

AngelEyes87 (rolls eyes up to the ceiling): No, we had a duel! Myth tied one hand behind my back – God knows why – and just as he was about to win Nightmare crashed through the building. (smiles) Being the brave man that he is, Myth helped me escape – it was REALLY sweet of him. (silence at the end of the phone) Jay, are you there?

Jay (teasingly) You fancy Myth! You fancy-

AngelEyes87 (hangs up on him): What an arsehole!

**A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared**

**By AngelEyes87**

**Chapter 7: To Kill Or Not To Kill.**

"Hello! You are now watching _A Problem Aired Is A Shared_!" Link welcomed in a friendly voice, waving to the audience. He flashed them a wide grin, trying to be the damn best presenter this show has ever seen. "My name is Link and for those who are wondering where Jay is, well he got into deep trouble with his boss after Nightmare and Siegfried were fighting while managing to destroy the whole set. As you can see we won't get it repaired not until a few months time as our funds have run out."

Secretly Link was pleased to get this chance to present the show as he had his eye on being the presenter of the show. That was until Jay stole it from under his nose when Jay had sent him to the wrong place and Link went there, thinking that the interview place was there. Turned out it was a strip-joint for midgets and Link tried to make his escape when all of a sudden an ugly red headed stripper dragged him back, forcing him to endure a horrible strip tease followed by a lap dance! He had some terrible nightmares ever since that fateful night. Link just wouldn't go out for ages as he would sit in his room, muttering "Think of a happy place" over and over again while sitting there rocking.

When Link got the phone call saying that Jay was fired and he could present just the one show, he immediately jumped for joy. His girlfriend Cassandra Alexandra was very pleased for him and she was even backstage watching the show. On the way to the show they drove past Jay's house and smiling cheekily, Link pulled down his trousers and mooned a very surprised and wide-eyed Jay who spilt his coffee down him. Things were looking up for Link as he was the new front-man for the Lynx deodorant.

A young child of four or five from the audience couldn't take his curious eyes off from Link. "Mummy?"

"Yes, dear?" the girl's mum said gently.

"He's a cute looking elf!" the girl exclaimed, pointing at Link. "Can I keep him?"

'Oh boy, not THIS again!' Link thought as he slapped himself on the forehead. Just because he had long pointy ears, had green clothes on and was of a short height DID NOT make him an elf!

"Okay, let's get things sorted out before we move along," Link announced calmly with a serious expression on his face. "I am NOT an elf – I am a Hyrulean! There is a difference, you know..."

The girl pouted. "Sorry Link."

"No harm done," he assured her. "Today's show is about a sad and tragic story of a seventeen year old girl who was raised in a secret organisation of assassins called the Bird of Passage. She was free of the clan when the Evil Seed rained down while she was in the middle of a mission and she tried to live a normal life with a family that took her in. However that didn't work out as she managed to kill them all along with the rest of the villagers. Would you please give it up for Tira!"

The audience including Link couldn't help but stare in shock as a petite girl dressed in green torn clothes that revealed a hell of a lot of her skin came onto the stage. 'Oh dear Lord,' Link thought as he studied her from a distance, not believing what he had just seen. Out of all the girls he had seen in Hyrule, they were totally different from Tira. Link figured out that green must be her all time favourite colour and even her lips were painted green for some strange reason. He admit that she was an odd looking girl as he saw that her hair was aqua blue and there was a strange faint aura around her that he just couldn't put his finger on. Just then Link thought he heard some birds squawking not too far away.

"What the hell?" he said as he looked up to the big hole in the ceiling and noticed a flock of ravens hovering overhead. 'I wonder if the people of England are thinking why there are no ravens near the Tower of London now' Link thought as he scratched his hair in confusion. Tira gazed at the audience when she had noticed that the crowd wasn't cheering for her.

"Well aren't you going to APPLAUD then?!" Tira growled in annoyance, waving her ring blade Aiseline Drossel around in a threatening way. The audience soon took notice and started to cheer for her. Smiling with satisfaction she made her way over to Link, casually sat down on the chair and looked up at Link with a glint in her eyes.

"Oh, you have a nice body," Tira drawled seductively. Link immediately felt uncomfortable with the way she was eyeing him up and down. "Can I see it for a second?"

"Uh...welcome to the show Tira," Link informed, choosing to ignore what she just said to him. "Don't you think what you wear is slightly...revealing?"

"Of course not," she answered, giggling girlishly. "Men tend to find it quite sexy."

Link was rendered speechless, his jaw almost hitting the floor. Was she coming onto him? He swallowed the lump that was now forming in his throat and summoned up the courage within him.

"So please could you tell us why you're here on today's show Tira?"

"Well ever since childhood I have always been killing people and to some extent I pretty much enjoyed it," Tira admitted. "Every day I just have this urge to KILL someone if I don't like them or if they taunt me. The other day this so called friend of mine had been ignoring me for the past TWO months and I couldn't understand why. Suddenly I found out that he was pretending to be MY friend and he had been lying to me all along when in fact I trusted him."

"So what happened then?" Link inquired. "Did you and him have a talk about it and come to a sensible conclusion about it?"

"No, I killed him," Tira replied without a trace of remorse in her voice. 'Note to self: Don't cross Tira in anyway since she might kill you,' Link thought to himself as he smiled sheepishly at her. What could he say to that? Absolutely nothing.

"Hmm, interesting. Not something that I would do but it is interesting."

"Well he deserved it!" Tira muttered with a look of slight displeasure on her face."I have trust issues! If I don't trust anyone I'll kill them!"

"Oh dear," Link said gently. Speaking to Tira really felt that he was skating on thin ice here – one false move and he's dead. "But you do trust me, don't you Tira?"

Tira flashed him one of her dazzling smiles and nodded happily. Link sighed out of relief. Thank God for that! It was strange to say that he felt drawn to her due to pity but he had to stay clear of her in case she might kill him, which was something that he didn't want.

Link cleared his throat."So how did you come across Nightmare then?"

"I was wandering around for some time, killing everyone in sight when one day I heard about the massacres that he had caused," she explained, her face lighting up. "Finally I had found someone just like me! I went to Ostrheinsburg, which is Nightmare's headquarters, and all I found was this cocky bastard with a scythe, telling me that he was just a useless PUPPET! A few days later I had found Nightmare and I gave myself to him entirely and became his close servant."

"Ha, you're a CRAZY psycho!" an arrogant man called out from the audience, immediately jeering directly at Tira. Tira stood up slowly, glaring fiercely at the man. "You belong in a boot camp for freaks like you!"

"I will make sure to grant you your DEATH!" Tira raged, venom in her voice as she marched up to the man, ready to kill him. Link knew he had to think of something so he leapt, landed on the floor and held onto her leg firmly to try and stop her. Tira still continued walking, pulling Link along the floor. 'Oh God, my ribs are KILLING me!' Link thought as he winced in pain. He wished to God that he didn't do that.

"RISE ABOVE IT! SURPRESS YOUR KILLING URGES! PLEASE LISTEN TO ME TIRA!"

Finally Tira stopped walking and looked down at Link who was stopping her walking properly. Anyway she was fed up with his weight dragging her down.

"Now go back there and sit down on the chair right now," Link commanded as he struggled to get up, his hand coming close to his ribcage. He hadn't been in so much pain in his life before. It was then at that moment that Tira's lips started to quiver and her eyes started to water up.

"Oh no Tira, please don't do this..." Link told her gently.

Just as he said this it only made matters worse. Tira instantly broke down and started to cry uncontrollably.

"Poor girl," Link murmured under his breath, wondering why the hell she was crying for. The least he can do was to feel sorry for her.

Link took a step forward closer to her. "Tira, what's-"

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE ME!" Tira wailed while tears were rolling down her cheeks, smearing her makeup. Link tried his best not to laugh as Tira looked like a panda. "I AM NOW MASTERLESS SINCE SEIGFRIED KILLED NIGHTMARE AND ALL THE TIMES I TRY AND FIT IN WITH NORMAL LIFE BUT I JUST CAN'T! I REALLY WANT TO STOP KILLING PEOPLE AS IT'S RUINING MY LIFE BUT THE URGE IS JUST TOO STRONG!"

Just like a normal man, Link couldn't take it when girls were crying. Normally he would try and sneak away when a woman was crying but this time he couldn't.

"But did you feel at least normal when you were living with that family before you killed them?"

"Yes," Tira admitting, sniffling.

"Killing people isn't the answer to everything and it doesn't get you anywhere.," Link told her, trying to calm her down. "Now I want you to stop killing people and live your life like a normal person. Promise?"

"OK, I will," Tira sighed. A glint suddenly appeared in her eyes and a devilish smile appeared on her face. "Only on one condition though..."

Link gulped. "What's that?"

"That you'll be my boyfriend!" she exclaimed. Link's eyes widened in surprise. 'Time to get out of here!' he thought as he started to run for the nearest exist.

"Oh no you don't!" Tira said cheerfully as she draped her ring blade around him and pulled him back to her before he could even escape.

"Tira, I-I," Link stuttered, not knowing what to say to her.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY MAN YOU LITTLE HARLOT!"

Both Link and Tira glanced around to see a pissed off Cassandra not far away from them with her sword and shield in her hands. 'Phew, just in time!' Link thought to himself.

"Back off Blondie, Link IS MINE!" Tira snarled at Cassandra, obviously fuming that she had decided to interrupt things. Cassandra grew even more angry at what Tira had said.

"This is even worse than you STALKING my sister! I am never letting Link go without a fight!" the Greek warrioress barked as she readied her weapons.

"Bring it on bitch!" Tira challenged in a low voice.

"That is all we got time for and thanks for watching _A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared_," Link said quickly. "Now, now ladies...surely it doesn't have to come down to this!"

**A/N: **Poor Link – now he has two women fighting over him hehe. I hoped you enjoyed this chapter and since I have no more essays to do then I'll be updating as much as I can :) Jay will be back in the next chapter and if you have a request for a character or characters next then please feel free to tell me. Oh and another thing – I have a C2 section up at the moment called Best Soul Calibur fanfiction. Basically it includes some of the best SC stories that I have read so far and I'll be adding more. If you want to be a member of staff for that then please PM me!


	8. Japanese Rivals

**A/N: **Sorry about the long wait again – just that I had a few problems with a friend and I've been playing Soul Calibur 3 to get some ideas about my Tales of the Souls story with my own character. I'm just trying to figure out the characters she has to fight in order and believe me, it's very hard to do. Anyway it's a challenge for me and I'm thinking of posting it up on the site very soon but just before that I'm willing to get some help. I would like to thank Valkyrie Celes, Highwayman Myth, Razer Athane, Jamester211, Link Guru, notjackfrost, The Legend of Soul Emblem and finally Rain Crystal for reviewing. Anyway here's Chapter 8 of 'A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared' and it's about the two Japanese warriors Mitsurgi and Taki. Ever since I first played Soul Blade I thought they will make a good couple – I know it may sound weird because they are rivals but put it my way I bet they are rivals in public and secret lovers in private. In this chapter both Mitsurugi and Taki are trying to sort out their past problems but everything doesn't turn out as they would have expected to...

**Disclaimer: **Since I had a special request from Rain Crystal and Highwayman Myth they asked me to use Kiku from Rain Crystal's fic called Vengeance so I was happy to do so.

AngelEyes87 (laughs) I feel like a parrot every time I say this. All the Soul Calibur characters don't belong to me, they belong to Namco. The only one I do own is Jay.

Kiku: _Konnichiwa_ AngelEyes-san!

AngelEyes87 (bowing): _Konnichiwa_ Kiku-san! (smiles) It's good to see you again.

Kiku: Likewise. So I understand that my brother is going to appear on this show, _hai_?

AngelEyes87: Indeed he is.

Kiku: Ah, that's good. I haven't seen Mitsurugi-chan for some time now. The last time I had seen him was when I was a young child and he wanted to be a samurai (sighs). I begged him countless of times to stay but did he listen – no!

AngelEyes87 (chuckles): Well at least you're going to have a happy family reunion when you do see him.

Kiku (glares): No, I intend to make him pay!

AngelEyes87: Oh dear...(hears Cassandra and Tira fighting in the distance). Uh, excuse me for a second, there's something I have to _sort _out.

Kiku: Not a problem. (watches as AngelEyes87 approaches the still fighting Tira and Cassandra.)

Tira: I will cut your heart out and watch you die slowly and painfully,you bitch!

Cassandra: You will never get Link. I have the power of the Gods by my side!

AngelEyes87 (loudly): Not this again! Can't you girls fight somewhere else?

Tira and Cassandra: NO!

AngelEyes87: Right that's it...(knocks Cassandra and Tira's heads together, making them collapse onto the floor).

**A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared**

**By AngelEyes87**

**Chapter 8: Japanese Rivals**

"Hi to all you people out there and welcome to another episode of _A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared_!" Jay grinned happily, showing pearly white teeth. "I am your host Jay and that's right baby, I'M BACK!"

For once in his twenty three years of his life Jay was pleased that he got a second chance for this show. After when Nightmare sent him flying out of the studio's ceiling he crashed through a house five miles away from the studio in bed next to a naked woman. Needless to say the woman's husband came into the bedroom after taking a shower and naturally like any other husband would think, he thought that Jay was going to have sex with her or force himself onto her. Jay was chased all the way to the studio with the man in furious pursuit of him, trying to shoot Jay with his double-barrel shotgun. Things couldn't have turned from bad to worse but it just did. When he arrived at the studio Jay's boss fired him – for the life of him Jay couldn't believe it. Jay even considered just sending his boss some hate mail to get revenge but he was too scared just in case his boss sent hitmen around his house to kill him. Afterall his boss did have such a temper on him.

On top of all that Jay watched last week's show and was surprised to see that his rival Link was presenting his show – his OWN show for God's sake! Throughout watching the show Jay was glaring at Link on the TV screen, muttering curses under his breath and cracking his knuckles in silent anger. How DARE Link steal his limelight! Jay was waiting to see Link fail and at the end he laughed evilly with pleasure when Cassandra and Tira were fighting over him while Link stood there helpless, not knowing what to do. As a way of celebrating Jay done his most favourite thing of all time – throwing darts at a picture of Link.

Jay watched curiously as one of the audience members stood up and began to walk towards one of the nearest exists. He had a feeling that this woman wasn't going to the toilets.

Jay cleared his throat. "MADAM!"

The woman jumped a mile into the air, knowing that she had been caught. 'That's right, turn around' Jay thought as she slowly whirled around to face him with a sheepish smile plastered on her face. He raised her eyebrow at her.

"And where do you think you're going?" he innocently asked while crossing his arms over his chest. Jay waited a while for the woman to say something. Ha, this should be interesting...

"I was hoping Link would be here to present the show today but now you're here I thought I might leave," she replied. 'The next time that someone mentions the name Link I will lose my temper with them' Jay thought as he forced himself to smile politely at the woman even though he didn't want to.

"Well sorry but I can't let you do that," Jay stated.

"Oh, yes and why is that?" she challenged, glaring at Jay through narrow blue eyes.

"Because the rules clearly says that once a person pays their money then they can't leave the show halfway through," he explained. "or in your case, at the start of the show."

"GO SCREW YOURSELF ARSE-WIPE!" she growled. Jay's eyes widened out of shock.

With saying that she turned on her heel and stormed out, slamming the door behind her. The action caused the ceiling to crack some more, threatening to fall down. Jay shook his head out of contempt. The company still hadn't raised enough money to fix the studio and it pissed Jay off to say the least. He didn't want to be working on a half-destroyed set while presenting as it was clearly unprofessional in his own eyes. To help out with the costs Jay was considering doing a second job – maybe he could work as a man whore as he could earn a hell of a lot of money from that!

"Sorry about that, folks," Jay said, apologising on behalf of the woman. For all Jay knew she could be suffering from PMS or something like that. "Today's show is about this twenty nine year old samurai. When he was fourteen he decided to study bushido in order to become a warrior after seeing his beloved land ruined by warfare. Since then he has developed a reputation in his homeland of Japan. Some call him 'Demon', 'The Guardian in this age of civil war' and 'The Great Swordsman' for his outstanding skill with the sword. Please welcome Heishiro Mitsurugi!"

As soon as Mitsurugi appeared on stage the crowd burst into hearty applause. Upon seeing that he was the centre of attention Mitsurugi bowed out of respect to the audience as it was Japanese tradition to do so. 'Wow, I wouldn't like to mess with him or meet him in a dark alley' Jay thought to himself as he first saw Mitsurugi and noticed he had a scabbard by the side of him. Jay's eyes travelled upwards and his eyes widened in surprise – that was a weird scar he had on his right shoulder! Jay instantly wondered how he got that in the first place.

Unbeknownst to Jay, Kiku realised that this was her chance and she got up from her seat, walking directly up to Mitsurugi. All these years of not seeing her or getting in touch with her at all really took a toll on Kiku and it really pissed her off. She will be the one who will make Mitsurugi very SORRY and make his life a misery until he gets on his knees and starts begging her for mercy. Kiku had some unanswered questions and she was determined to know the WHOLE truth from her brother who abandoned her from an early age. And she was not going to take bullshit from him either!

"Welcome to the show Mitsurugi," Jay said, smiling softly at the Japanese.

"It is an HONOUR to be here," Mitsurugi answered. Just before his arse manage to touch the seat Kiku was standing in front of him with a wild look on her face.

"WELL I HOPE YOU CAN EXPLAIN YOURSELF YOU COWARD!" Kiku screamed, planting her hands on her hips. "I HAVEN'T SEEN OR HEARD FROM YOU IN YEARS – I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU! AS A CHILD YOU HAVE LEFT ME ALL ALONE, LEAVING ME TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF AND YOU SAID THAT YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE ME AND THAT WAS A LIE!"

Jay put a hand on her shoulder to restrain Kiku from giving Mitsurugi a good old thump. "May I suggest that you sit down before all hell breaks loose around here."

Kiku couldn't keep her eyes off Mitsurugi who was looking back at her in stunned silence. Didn't he know who the hell it was?

"Oh, and I don't suppose you know who I am then," she drawled sarcastically. Mitsurugi stared at her strangely then a flash of recognition entered his eyes.

"Kiku?" he asked in a trembled voice.

"Oh, I'm so glad that you remembered my name!" Kiku exclaimed, rolling her eyes. "Now I have some questions that YOU need to answer Mitsurugi-chan and you better answer them or so help me I'll-"

"Uh, it's better that you two love-birds get acquainted after the show," Jay interrupted, trying to sound fair and reasonable for once in his life.

"Love birds?!" Kiku repeated in a challenging voice, raising her eyebrows at Jay. "Let me get this straight – I'm his SISTER."

Jay was so embarrassed that he didn't know what to say. This woman freaked him out to say the least and it was mostly due to her temper. If he would say the wrong thing then most probably Kiku would castrate him and wear his balls as earrings! While Mitsurugi sat down, Jay pulled a chair onto the stage so that Kiku was able to sit next to her brother. 'I just hope that she doesn't kill him!' Jay thought, keeping an eye on her.

"So why exactly are you on this show then Mitsurugi?" Jay inquired.

"For some unknown reason this female ninja keeps on following me and standing in my way every time I search for Soul Edge," he explained gruffly. "It really IS infuriating for me to keep on looking over my shoulder to see if she is hiding in the shadows or discreetly following me."

"Hmm, interesting," Jay mused while running a hand through his blond hair. "I think it's nothing to be alarmed of. I had girls following me about and trying to break into my house and I don't mind. They worship me like a God!"

"Jay, I think you don't understand me," Mitsurugi sighed. "Imagine having to cope with a woman following you about everywhere and wanting to kill you near enough ALL the time. Would you like that?"

"Hell, no!" Jay shuddered at the thought. He knew that his girl fans love him but he wouldn't like for any of them to kill him in his sleep. It was bad enough that a girl managed to infiltrate his house and spied on him in the shower. It was at that moment that he decided to put security devices all around his house. Jay thought 'This woman that Mitsurugi is describing MUST be obsessed with him.'

"Why do you think she's after you then?" Jay asked. "Have you ever though of that?"

"Yes I have," he confirmed. "I think she wants Soul Edge to herself when in fact I'm on a quest to find it. Trust me, when I find the sword she will NEVER get it off me – ever!"

Jay was slightly confused. "Then why are you two arguing over a stupid sword then? That's childish!"

"Of course it isn't!" Mitsurugi argued, rapidly losing his temper. Jay really was such a dumb arse and Mitsurugi didn't think that much of him now. "Soul Edge is the ultimate sword known to man. I want it because I want to defeat the Tanegashima." Jay was about to open his mouth when Mitsurugi said, "Now BEFORE you even ask what is it, a Tanegashima is a long rifle that looks like a pipe. It effects my way of life as more and more samurai warriors will use them instead of the sword."

"Okay, I see what you mean." Jay didn't like Mitsurugi that much as he seemed like an arrogant, conceited man. It certainly his fault that Jay didn't know Japanese words and customs that well as he has never been to Japan in his whole life before. Didn't Mitsurugi like Westerners at all? Jay bit his tongue from saying it out loud.

"Would you like to know how I got this scar here?" he demanded. Jay nodded while Kiku looked with concern at it. "I faced a man with a rifle in front of my war lord and some others and I got shot in the shoulder which caused me to pass out."

"Well you shouldn't have shown off then," Kiku scoffed, shaking her head. Mitsurugi glared at his sister, warning that she should quit while she was ahead.

"Don't you DARE start fighting on this show, you two," Jay warned. "I'm not having that."

"Ha, do you really think I'm that stup-" Kiku began to say when Jay cut her off.

"Okay Mitsurugi, since you want to sort out things with this ninja we have her backstage," Jay announced. "Please welcome Taki!"

Just then a big cloud of smoke appeared on stage, making everyone to start coughing while shielding their eyes. 'What the hell is that?' Jay wondered as he seen a mysterious figure emerging from the smoke. The smoke finally cleared up and it revealed Taki. She was dressed in her normal ninja red outfit and her sleek black hair was up in a ponytail. Jay's lustful eyes dropped to her breasts. What LARGE mounds of womanly flesh they were...He immediately snapped out of his thoughts when he noticed that Taki was glaring at him. Jay took a nervous step back, not wanting to be wounded.

"Please have a seat Taki."

Taki sat down without saying a single word. All she did was to turn her head and settled her gaze on Kiku then Mitsurugi. Taki shot him a small smile and chuckled.

"I'm surprised that you have a lover Mitsurugi," Taki mocked.

"Why, you-!" Kiku growled, standing up. Mitsurugi grabbed Kiku by her sleeve and forced her to sit down. As far as he was concerned this had nothing to do with his sister. He narrowed his eyes at the ninja.

"She's my sister," he corrected harshly. Just then he was curious. "Anyway why did you assume she was my lover in the first place? Was you jealous of her just then?"

"No," Taki snapped. "I am not an envious woman."

"Fine," he muttered. "Now I want to know WHY you keep on following – no, STALKING me every damn time."

"Ha, I never once took you for a foolish man," Taki told him. "A warrior of your calibre should have no need for such evil power like Soul Edge. For my own purposes I have to destroy the sword once and for all and I won't let anyone get in my way including you."

"So that's why you stood in my way countless of times," Mitsurugi assumed, snorting out of contempt.

"Must you ask such a stupid question?"

"You know, you are really annoying," he said impatiently. "When we last met I clearly said "You again? I had enough of you!" then immediately afterwards you laughed then said "Haven't you had enough?" I am fed up with you constantly MOCKING me!"

"I beg to differ. I was standing on such a high pillar that I couldn't even hear you!" Taki defended herself, remembering that moment. "You try doing that and you will see what I mean!"

"But wait a minute," Jay chimed in, clearly interested by all what was going on. "Are there others looking for the sword as well as Mitsurugi?"

"I would assume that, yes," Taki replied coolly.

"So why are you following me then?" challenged Mitsurugi. Suddenly a thought entered his mind; something he hadn't thought all this time.

"Are you in love with me or something?" he asked.

Taki's eyebrows shot up. "NO!"

"Then why are you starting to blush then?" Kiku questioned with a cheeky grin. Taki could feel her cheeks burning. Damn! Out of all the times, she wished to God that she had her face mask with her right now.

"Hush girl," Taki mumured. "This has NOTHING to do with you."

At that moment a voice belonging to a female cried out behind them. "Prepare to die, Mitsurugi!"

Mitsurugi, Jay, Kiku and Jay all slowly turned around to see a beautiful woman dressed in a silk kimono dress with her hair arranged in a hairstyle similar to that of a geisha. This was turning out to be a weird show for Jay with everyone turning up unexpected. Mitsurugi couldn't help but to stare at the woman, not knowing who she was exactly. He sighed deeply. It was obvious that it was someone to take revenge on him or kill him – it happened to him all the time in his life so it was nothing new to him. The woman stormed over to him, her dark eyes blazing.

"Now I can avenge my master's death," Setsuka proudly announced. "Let the wounds from my blade be your demise!"

"Not this again" Mitsurugi groaned. "I've had the same thing when Li Long accused me of murdering his lover when I didn't."

This made Setsuka even angry and she reached for her blade that was hidden in her parasol. To her disbelief, the sword was stuck. Cursing under her breath she tried pulling at the sword so it can be free but still it wouldn't budge. Taki watched in amusement.

"You call yourself a warrior when you can't draw your blade?" Taki sneered, laughing heartily. Setsuka's blood started to boil and she growled fiercly.

"SHUT UP YOU BIG-BREASTED HARLOT!" Setsuka screamed. Upon hearing this, Taki decided enough was enough. It was time to fight back. Just because she had massive breasts does not mean to say that people can insult her.

"That does it! SYAAAAHHHHH!"

Jay and Mitsurugi stared in silence as Taki and Setsuka were involved in a cat fight, tearing each other's clothes off in the process. This was indeed a wish came true for the two men.

"This has got a hell of a lot more interesting," Mitsurugi laughed, getting comfortable in his seat while continuing to watch the action. Jay nodded in agreement, putting his arm around Mitsurugi's shoulder.

Kiku couldn't believe it. "Oniichan?"

After attempting to catch her brother's attention a few times, Kiku threw up her arms in defeat and started to walk off backstage.

"Oh, I give up with him..." Kiku murmuered.

"We have now ran out of time and tune in next time for another episode of _A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared_," Jay said, smiling widely. "Mitsurugi, how about we make a bet?"

**A/N: **Phew, I'm glad to have this chapter all over and done with this – it's the longest one I've ever wrote so far for this story! Well I hope you enjoyed reading it and I admit this chapter is one of the best so far. In the next chapter I'm going to do Hilde as I've got an interesting idea for her and guess what, I'll be presenting!


	9. The Case Of The Ex

**A/N: **Well, you'll be pleased to know I have sorted out the plan for my Tales of the Souls story (even though it hasn't been posted up on here yet) and I have worked out what characters my main character has to fight in order. On that note I have come up with a title for the story so it's getting there. I'm thinking of getting the story up and running on here after I finish A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared – anyway what do you guys think? I would like to thank Valkyrie Celes, Magic of WakaLaka, Link Guru, Razer Athane, Highwayman Myth, Jamester211, The Legend of Soul Emblem and last but not least Rain Crystal. Without your support I'd never have got this far :) Anyway here's Chapter 9 of 'A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared' and it's all about Hilde. Now not much is known about her as Namco hasn't released much information on her as she is the new character in the upcoming Soul Calibur 4, which will be out sometime next year. Needless to say I can't wait for this. In this chapter Hilde is one of Jay's ex girlfriends and they haven't seen each other in a very long time. However Hilde needs to tell Jay something very important...

**Disclaimer: **I had the pleasure of Highwayman Myth letting me use Myth from his story once again and this time instead of fighting him, he will act like my bodyguard!

AngelEyes87 (murmurs): I wonder why I keep on saying this over and over again! (rolls eyes) Okay, Namco is the owner of the Soul Calibur characters and as you know I own Jay. Oh, hi Xianghua!

Xianghua (looks at AngelEyes87 with puppy-dog eyes): Since Jay won't be presenting the show I was wondering if I can do something...

AngelEyes87: Oh yes? And what's that?

Xianghua (excited): Well I always wanted to present the show and this is my chance to do it. (grins) I am a natural performer and plus I'm very good with people. Oh and if they give me grief then I'll knock them out!

AngelEyes87: Hmm, that sounds interesting Xianghua.

Xianghua (jumping up and down with happiness): So what do you say AngelEyes87 – can I present the show now?

AngelEyes87: Sure you can!

Xianghua: Really?! You mean that?

AngelEyes87: No (winks).Just kidding!

Xianghua:OH, THAT IS SO UNFAIR! WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO STEAL MY LINE?! (punches the wall in frustration) Damn, I think I just broke my hand!

**A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared**

**By AngelEyes87**

**Chapter 9: The Case Of The Ex**

"Hi! I'm your host AngelEyes87 and you are now watching _A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared_!" AngelEyes87 said while flashing a warm smile to her cheering audience before her. She gestured towards a handsome looking man standing beside her. "And this here is Myth, my personal bodyguard."

"It's such a pleasure to be here signora," Myth informed as he took hold of her hand, raised it up to his lips and pressed a kiss onto the flat surface of her hand.

"Not a problem signor," AngelEyes87 purred.

Since the manager of the show asked her to present the show she was absolutely overjoyed. Every show she would always remain backstage watching Jay in a private room and whenever things turned worse she would always grumble at the TV screen, shaking her head in dismay. Jay considered himself to be a professional presenter? Ha, AngelEyes87 thought the COMPLETE opposite! Ever since she first met him she didn't like him at all as he was cocky, arrogant and rude – plus he didn't respect her for all the hard-working things she done for Jay. The last straw had been when both her and Jay were invited to a very important TV Awards ceremony last week. Jay had done nothing but drink all night and made an embarrassment of himself when he got drunk and started to make passes at every woman in sight thus getting himself punched in the face a couple of times by their lovers and husbands. Not only that but Jay thought it would be immensely funny to go outside, hide behind a large bush and jump out in front of shocked old ladies and expose himself to them. Needless to say it was a nightmare for AngelEyes87 and she had never been humiliated in her whole life before.

On the other hand things were looking up for the young twenty year old. AngelEyes87 and Myth put their differences to one side and actually became close friends. If it weren't for Myth saving her when Nightmare crashed through the studio looking for Siegfried then all this wouldn't have happened. AngelEyes87 would often turn red when many people would ask if her and Myth were lovers when IN FACT they weren't. She suspected that Jay was behind that as he loved making other people's lives a living misery. Once or twice she was tempted to put laxatives in his coffee – now WHO will have the last laugh! However when AngelEyes87 heard that she was going to be the host she offered Myth to be her bodyguard as any fights would break out on the show he can sort them out.

"As you recall what happened on the show last week a fight broke out between Taki and Setsuka and ALL the men were making bets on both of them," AngelEyes87 explained while running a hand through her sandy blonde hair. "In the end Taki won and Setsuka made her way back to Japan with her head bowed down in shame. Meanwhile Kiku and Mitsurugi went to a family counselling classes and are starting to get along with each other now."

AngelEyes87 was delighted for both Mitsurugi and his sister as they were slowly but surely making progress. She just hoped that they didn't kill one another if things get worse. But from what AngelEyes87 gathered from knowing Mitsurugi a few hours she knew that he was a man of absolute honour and would never break a promise. Anyway Kiku was capable of taking care of herself – if her brother did play up then she would definitely kick his arse!

"Right today's show is about this eighteen year old woman and she is the daughter of a wealthy and well recognised King from the Wolfkrone Kingdom," she explained. "Two years ago she fell in love with a man slightly older than her and after a night of passion a new life was created and the man left afterwards, never to be seen again. Please welcome onto the stage ladies and gentlemen, Hilde von Krone!"

Hilde immediately appeared on stage and waved briefly to the audience who was now applauding wildly for her. She was wearing silver armour that had wolf designs everywhere along with a weapon in her left hand, which was a red spear with the Wolfkrone Kingdom banner attached to it. She also had her short sword sheathed in a scabbard which was hanging from her waist belt. Despite all the armour that she was wearing AngelEyes87 could tell she was quite an outstanding looking woman. AngelEyes87 looked closely at her face, her eyes widening in surprise. 'Wow, she REALLY looks like one of my friends,' she thought to herself. Now that was odd. When Hilde first glanced at Myth, a huge smile appeared on her face and she ran up to him.

"Huh?" AngelEyes87 said as she watched Hilde ran past her right into the arms of a laughing Myth. What the hell was going on? She scratched her head in total confusion.

"It's good to see you again Myth!" Hilde exclaimed in excitement.

"Likewise," Myth replied, kissing her on both cheeks. "It's been such a long time..."

"Indeed," she agreed, releasing herself from his strong grip.

AngelEyes87 stared at them in disbelief. So they know each other? At that very moment AngelEyes87 wanted to know all the details like how long they have known each other, when did they meet, are they in a relationship or not. 'I wonder if they slept together,' she mused silently. SLEPT TOGETHER?! AngelEyes87 gasped at the idea of them making love under the bed sheets. Why the hell did she have to think that? AngelEyes87 blocked those thoughts from her mind and decided to continue with the show.

"Uh, how did you two meet, Myth?"

Myth looked at his friend. "Oh, my apologies signora! I forgot you were there."

"Ha, typical man," AngelEyes87 murmured to herself quietly, shaking her head.

"To cut a long story short I rescued her from soldiers and we have known each other ever since," Myth told her. He then noticed that she was staring at him in a funny way. "Don't worry, we are not in a relationship AngelEyes87."

"How did you - " she was about to ask before he interrupted her.

"Trust me, I know how women's minds work," Myth assured AngelEyes87. Hilde cheerfully patted Myth on the back before taking a seat.

"Welcomes to the show Hilde."

"Why, thank you AngelEyes87," Hilde beamed. Just then she noticed her dress top that she was wearing. "That's quite a nice top! Where did you get it from?"

"New Look," AngelEyes87 responded with a friendly wink. Even though Hilde was a daughter of a King she still acted like a typical teenager. "Anyway would you please explain why you're on the show today Hilde."

"Right well, when I was sixteen my father announced that he had chosen a husband for me as it was tradition to do so in my kingdom," Hilde remarked calmly, crossing one leg over the other. "We were arranged to meet one another and I was expecting him to be quite a handsome prince."

Just then Hilde broke off, cringing at the memories. "Was he the man of my dreams – NOOOO!!! Instead he was quite immature for his age since he was twenty, he had atrocious manners especially at the dinner table and he REALLY liked making these strange noises for some strange reason."

"Well I wouldn't like to live with a man like that," AngelEyes87 sympathised with Hilde. God, this so-called prince sounded like a retard. Not exactly the sharpest or brightest tool out of the shed either.

"And that's not just it," Hilde commented. "The man actually STUNK to high heaven and he was so ugly that he was often confused for a wild boar!"

"Thank the good Lord that I'm not like that," Myth sighed, slightly smiling with relief.

'At least there are some decent men in the world,' AngelEyes87 thought to herself, staring at Myth. She couldn't help but to admire him as he was quite a stunning and charismatic man. At times she wondered why he didn't have a girlfriend as any other girl would want him for his looks. But AngelEyes87 did have to say that he did have a fine looking arse.

"So what happened afterwards?" AngelEyes87 politely inquired, sitting down next to Hilde on a nearby chair.

"One night after having a MASSIVE row with my father about me not wanting to marry that lout I managed to sneak out and I went to a bar," she said. "Let's just say that I got a bit drunk and I started to dance on the tables when at that moment Jay came into the room."

Jay? Was AngelEyes87 hearing things correctly? 'Jeez, I didn't know that Jay was in this story!" she thought, clearly interested. She knew what this meant – Hilde was going to tell her bad things about him and expose his secrets. AngelEyes87 smiled slyly. Whenever Jay started on her in the future then she would bring up the past to shut him up. She could picture it now!

Hilde's eyes started to soften. "Anyway upon first seeing Jay, I feel in love with him so I approached him. We started talking about normal things while having a few drinks and we even had a dance together. By the end of the night we went back to the inn that he was staying in and we made love. It was such a perfect night for me as I lost my virginity to him and I thought we were going to have a future together."

It was at that moment that Hilde narrowed her eyes and she was obviously fuming as her hand firmly gripped the spear that she was holding. This didn't look so good.

"Then the BASTARD left without saying a word to me in the morning and a month later I found out that I was pregnant!" Hilde growled, furious.

"Shit!" AngelEyes87 muttered, feeling sorry for Hilde. "Did you try getting in contact with him?"

She shook her head. "I tried but he was busy with things. He told me not to bother me any more."

AngelEyes87 angrily gritted her teeth. Now that did sounded like Jay. She would give anything to strangle him to death right now. Myth came to Hilde's side, concerned with her.

"I am so sorry to hear that, signora," he told her, touching her hand to show his comfort.

"So you're here to tell Jay that you had a child by him then and get support from him," AngelEyes87 assumed.

"Yes," Hilde replied. "He should be there for little Victoria."

"Well since you don't have to wait any longer he is right here. Everyone please welcome Jay onto the show!"

As soon as Jay appeared onto the stage, everyone's eyes were focused on him. The audience booed and hissed him as he smiled and raised his arms to the crowd as a way of a greeting. As soon as he realised he was getting a bad reception, Jay narrowed his eyes and shrugged his shoulders as if to say he didn't care what the audience thought of him. AngelEyes87 stood up and crossed her arms over her chest. 'He is such a cocky son of a bitch!' she thought angrily. 'If I were Hilde I would have stormed up to him and slap him hard around the face!' To AngelEyes87's surprise Hilde didn't move one bit in her chair. Myth just stood there, looking quite unimpressed with Jay.

Jay casually walked over to them and sat himself down on the chair. He gazed at Hilde in mild surprise and then he smiled cheekily at her.

"Hilde, now what did I say to you about not bothering me huh?" Jay cockily questioned her. AngelEyes87 couldn't stand it so she slapped Jay around the face harshly. The audience including Myth and Hilde just grimaced from seeing that.

"OWW!" Jay yelled in agony while his hand flew up to cover his now throbbing red cheek. He glared at AngelEyes87. "What the hell did you do that for?!"

"Because you're an arsehole, that's why!" she snapped, seeing red. "Now shut your damn mouth up and listen to Hilde!"

"Anyway, what is Myth doing HERE?" Jay demanded when he first noticed him.

"JUST DO AS I BLOODY WELL SAID!!"

"So what have you came to tell me now this time Hilde?" Jay sighed, looking bored.

"Jay, do you remember that night when we first met at the bar?"

"Maybe. Why?"

"Well that night we made love and - "

"Oh, that's right. I remember," Jay drawled, chucking seductively. Jay then looked at Myth with a leering smile and said, "I'm telling you Myth, Hilde is such a WILDCAT in the sack. You should have her."

"Unfortunately for you I think with my head, not with the organ below the belt," Myth retorted, putting Jay back in his place. AngelEyes87 was impressed. Now that was a GOOD comeback. When Jay heard that, his face faltered as he didn't expect that at all.

"Well I've tried to get into contact afterwards but you wouldn't listen so this is the chance to tell you something important," Hilde informed softly.

"Tell me what?" Jay asked, turning suspicious.

"Jay, we have a child together," Hilde announced. "Her name is Victoria and she is two years old. You're her father."

"WHAT?!" Jay screamed out of sheer shock and terror while his eyes widened like two saucers. "THIS-THIS IS A JOKE!"

"No it's not," Hilde frowned, shaking her head. "I'm telling you the honest truth here."

"It's all LIES! Everyone knows that you were sleeping around with two different men at the same time when I met you!" Jay taunted, laughing sadistically at her. "You're just a LYING BITCH who is planning to take my money AWAY from me! Well babe that is not going to happen because I am NOT the father of your child!"

"How dare you?!" Hilde spluttered, shocked at what he just said.

"Signor may I remind you that it takes only one night to create a baby," Myth told him.

"Why don't you SHUT UP and keep out of this, Mr Goody-Two-Shoes!" Jay growled at him, obviously pissed off.

"NO, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SHOULD SHUT UP!" AngelEyes87 screamed at the top of her voice, standing above a now cowering Jay. "MYTH IS QUITE RIGHT IN WHAT HE IS SAYING AND I AGREE WITH HIM! HAVEN'T YOU HEARD OF THIS THING IN WHICH WE CALL A CONDOM? WELL YOU SHOULD BUY THEM IN FUTURE SO THAT GIRLS WILL BE SAFE FROM YOU TRYING TO GET THEM BLOODY PREGNANT! I REALLY DESPISE MEN WHO RELY ON THE WOMEN FOR PROTECTION AND JUST COME OUT WITH THE EXCUSE THAT THEY DON'T LIKE WEARING CONDOMS SO THEY DON'T WEAR THEM!"

"Whoa, calm down signora," Myth soothed AngelEyes87, gently pulling her away from Jay by her arm. "Don't let this fool get to you."

"That's it! I didn't come out here to be insulted by the likes of anyone!" Jay exclaimed in an annoyed voice while getting to his feet. "I'm leaving now so goodbye!"

Jay started to storm of the stage when everyone just stared in stunned silence.

"My apologies AngelEyes87 but I have to do something," Myth remarked.

"What?" she asked, curious.

"This." Myth drew his gun, aimed at Jay and fired a bullet into his buttocks.

"ARGH!! MY ARSE!" Jay yelled in agony as he clutched his rear end while running all over the stage. Hilde burst out laughing when she seen this along with the audience.

"That is all the time we have today and tune in for another episode of _A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared_!" AngelEyes87 grinned. "Good shooting there, Myth!"

**A/N: **As the saying goes, what goes around comes around. Hehe, I bet you guys were surprised that Jay fathered a child when he said that he didn't have any children! Anyway I hoped you found this chapter amusing and enjoyed it too. The characters I'm thinking of doing in the next chapter is Sophitia and Rothion but if anyone have any other ideas then please say so :) By the way, have a very merry Christmas too!


	10. Greek Tragedy

**A/N: **Well I just can't believe it's 2008 now – where has the time went? I hope all of you had a very fun-packed Christmas and got everything you want. I've been busy during the past few weeks hehe. I would like to thank those who have reviewed and they are Jamester211, Link Guru, Valkyrie Celes, Highwayman Myth, Razer Athane, The Legend of Soul Enblem, xvalentinexbladex, Magic of Wakalaka, pawprint0110, Rain Crystal, Ronin Drake and finally Passerbywanderer. All your support means the world to me so thank you. Anyway here's Chapter 10 of 'A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared' and it's all about the holy Greek warrioress Sophitia and her husband Rothion. As I've been reading some of the stories on here I noticed that some of the people really despise Rothion for some strange reason and either kill him off, split up with Sophitia so she can be with Siegfried and other things like that. When I first played Soul Blade, I thought that Sophitia would make a cute couple with Hwang! Oh come, I was nine or ten at the time so don't tease me ;-) In this chapter Sophitia has a few secrets that she has kept from Rothion during their marriage...

**Disclaimer: **I've had two requests which I'm pleased about! I had the pleasure of Highwayman Myth letting me use his character Carter Nick from his story A West Virginia Redneck in Princess Zelda's Court. Also Passerbywanderer wanted me to use Ivan from his story Innocence and Purity.

AngelEyes87: Do I have to say this? (sighs) Oh, I guess I have to otherwise I'll have Namco suing me! The Soul Calibur characters are all owned by Namco and all I own is that lousy fool whose name is Jay.

Carter Nick: Hey, I'm back cutey!

AngelEyes87 (smiles): Oh hi Carter. Have you heard anything about Myth?

Carter Nick: Yeah and you're not gonna like it. Myth got thrown into jail for shooting Jay in the ass.

AngelEyes87 (frowns): God, that's bad! (sighs) What are we going to do?

Carter Nick: Well I could bail him out for you by paying the sheriff. I know it's gonna-

Jay (singing loudly from a distance): I'VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS!

Carter Nick: What the hell is that?!

AngelEyes87 (covers her ears with her hands): Oh, make it stop!

Jay (still singing): ALL OF THEM ARE STANDING IN A ROW! BIG ONES, SMALL ONES, SOME ARE AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD!

AngelEyes87: Jay, shut it! (glares) Because of you, Myth is in prison.

Jay: Like I really give a damn about that thug – he deserved it.

Carter Nick (noticing Jay sitting on a big rubber ring): Dang, that's a real nice donut you've got there. Does it come in different flavours? (bursts out laughing)

Jay (sarcastically): Ha ha ha, that's it – go ahead and laugh! Why don't you go back to Virginia or wherever you come from, redneck!

Carter Nick: Hey you have no right to call me that just because I'm different from most Americans.

Jay: At least I don't fancy any of my cousins unlike you and all the rest!

Carter Nick (cracks his knuckles): I'm gonna beat the shit outta you for saying that, boy! (attacks Jay with punches)

**A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared**

**By AngelEyes87**

**Chapter 10: Greek Tragedy**

"Hi and welcome to another edition of _A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared_!" Jay greeted, looking like a right state. He tried to smile but he couldn't do it because his face was throbbing badly. "I am your host Jay and I know you're all surprised to see me again after what happened on last week's show."

Jay sighed sadly, nursing his wounds. 'Damn that redneck for doing this to me!' Jay thought to himself. He had to endure getting beaten to a bloody pulp by Carter Nick only because he made that stupid cousins remark. How the hell was Jay to know that he had such a BAD temper?! Luckily Jay managed to escape from getting his head almost flushed down the toilet by Carter Nick when the producer of the show told Jay that the show was about to start in less than two minutes. Jay could feel his entire face swelling up and not only was his bruises started to show on his face but he had a black eye too. He almost fainted with shock when he caught sight of himself in the mirror. 'God, I'm in ENOUGH pain as it is without Carter attacking me,' he mused, wincing at the pain in his rear end when he took a step forward. It took a team of professional surgeons to remove that bullet from Jay's arse in only five and a half hours! The hospital wards were filled with Jay's screams of pain that day. To his dismay he couldn't sit down properly and the doctor gave him a rubber ring for him to sit on at all times and people would take the piss out of him and his ring everywhere that he went. Not before long Jay received some happy news – Myth was sent to prison for assault with a weapon. Needless to say Jay was thrilled to hear that and celebrated by having a few drinks at the local bar.

"HA! I'm surprised that you haven't LOST your job!" a tough man jeered from the audience. Jay looked at him through narrow eyes. "You have a lot of GUTS to show your ugly face around here after what you done to Hilde!"

Jay gritted his teeth, not impressed at all. "Excuse me but would you PLEASE shut your mouth. I'm trying to present a show here if you don't mind!"

"Well, I've got news for you. Why don't you do us all a favour and go throw yourself off a cliff then the world will be happy!"

"Yeah, whatever," Jay murmured with a shrug, not bothering with what the man just said to him.

What happened with Hilde made headlines and it caused quite a big controversy. Jay couldn't pick up the newspaper or watch the news to see that he was the centre of attention yet again. Whenever he would go out in public people would glare at him with daggers in their eyes from afar while others would approach him and give him nothing but hell. If you thought that was bad enough then Jay was swarmed by reporters and the paparazzi all the time, shoving microphones into his face and asking him all sorts of personal questions about him and his relationship with Hilde. Jay hated it completely and once Jay got so pissed off with a reporter that he knocked him out with a single furious punch. Hilde succeeded into sending Jay to court and by the end of it she had won the case and Jay had to pay for child support for their daughter Victoria. It was an experience that Jay never wanted repeated in his life ever again.

"Anyway, today's show is about this Greek warrioress who used to work in her father's bakery when she was growing up," Jay explained in a gentle voice. "At the tender age of eighteen she received an oracle from the Greek God of Forgery, Hephaestus. From that moment on she set forth on a quest to destroy Soul Edge on behalf of the Gods. Several years later she seeks to find the sword out of free will to protect her family. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Sophitia Alexandra!"

A blonde haired woman walked onto the stage while the audience gave her such a hearty round of applause. Jay along with the rest of the male members of the audience couldn't take their eyes off her. Sophitia had the radiant beauty of a goddess and when she smiled gracefully she lit up the entire room. She was dressed in Grecian clothes that highlighted her gorgeous, slim figure and not a strand of her silky hair was out of place. There was no doubt that she was the epitome of absolute perfectness and refinement. Jay's eyes travelled up and down her body, observing every small detail. 'She sure is beautiful,' Jay thought while staring at the Greek woman in a trance. Just as he was wondering what was the best way to work his charm on her, Sophitia's emerald eyes narrowed in a stern glare.

"Don't even think that," Sophita warned as she sat down on the chair that was already provided. Jay's mouth hit the floor in surprise when she said that.

"Think what?"

"Think that you can come onto me because THAT is not going to happen. I know what's going on through that head of yours and if you try and sweet-talk me then I won't hesitate to shove my knee into your groin."

After the experience of Amy kicking him there, Jay knew what it felt like and needless to say it was very painful. He wouldn't dare underestimate her as she was the sort of woman that would do it given the chance.

"Uh, I-I...welcome to the show Sophitia," he stammered, breaking out in a sweat.

"I'm just glad to be on this show Jay," she beamed, giggling girlishly. Her laughter was like music to his ears.

"Why, thank you! Jay exclaimed. "So please tell us a bit about yourself."

"Okay, well the reason why I'm on the search for Soul Edge once again is that my children is in danger," she explained softly. At that moment every single male including Jay groaned sadly when she mentioned about her children – that meant she had a man already! Sophitia was unfazed by this and carried on. "I went to Ostrheinsburg Castle to look for Nightmare but when I got there I was encountered by this strange green-haired girl draped in evil. She told me that the sword wasn't there any more then she smiled sarcastically, saying that she wanted to play with my children."

"What happened next?" he asked. He was sure that the girl that Sophitia was referring to must be Tira as the other night he was on a date with her and Tira freaked him out when she wanted to tie him up to the bed and do wicked things to him, mostly involving his arse. NOBODY touches his arse ever!

Sophitia's eyes held much sadness in them. "Then I returned home to see my family and they were quite safe. Wanting guidance in my quest, I decided to pray to the Gods in the Eurydice Shrine and as soon as I got there, the same girl that I had met at the castle was there. I knew that I had to fight although I was terrified and during this I realised that she hasn't experienced happiness in her life as I sensed it. The girl stopped fighting and warned me when the time will come she will be after my children. It was then I decided to destroy Soul Edge for the sake of my family."

"Well most probably she wants to get to know them better." Jay was rewarded a stern look from Sophitia. "Or maybe not!"

"No offence Jay, but you know NOTHING about parenting," Sophitia told him. "Look at the way you have neglected your role as a father to your daughter."

"Moving on," he hissed through clenched teeth, deciding that it was better to change the subject right away. "is it true that you destroyed a half of Soul Edge when you battled Cervantes during your first quest?"

"Yes," Sophitia replied, nodding. "I had passed out when the shards of the blade pierced through my skin and just before Cervantes tried to kill me, this mysterious Asian woman appeared and saved me. She managed to perish him and she carried me back home to Athens and upon seeing this, my sister Cassandra was the only one that believed me. A few weeks later I went shopping and I fainted then a blacksmith called Rothion took care of me and we fell in love with each other and got married."

"Hmm, sounds interesting. Why exactly are you on this show Sophitia?"

"Ever since we got married everyone has always said we were the perfect couple but that isn't true," Sophitia said. Jay suddenly was interested in her story now and he couldn't wait to hear it – was it bad news? "I have a startling revelation that I need to tell Rothion and it's not going to be good."

"Well this is your chance to tell him now," Jay announced. 'Oh, I hope her news is something really juicy!' Jay smugly thought to himself. "Please give it up for Rothion!"

Everyone cheered as Rothion walked onto the stage. He was a tall, handsome man with dirty blonde hair and he was dressed in Grecian style clothes too. Jay wasn't too impressed. 'Ha, a lout like that doesn't deserve a woman like Sophitia!' he thought, quietly snickering. As soon as Rothion saw his lovely wife, his eyes lit up with affection for her. The audience made awwing noises when Rothion gave Sophitia a tender kiss and then sat down next to her. Sophitia's eyes started to water up as soon as she looked at her husband. Rothion wasn't the only one who was confused by her crying – Jay was as well.

She wiped the tears away. "Rothion I've been keeping a secret from you all these years and you'll need to hear it. The truth is-"

"OH NO!" Rothion held his hands up in the air as he shook his hand. "Please don't tell me that you're a lesbian!"

"Lesbian?" she questioned. Sophitia was instantly baffled with the idea. "Of course not! Why would you THINK such a thing like that?"

"Well because you were in the arms of a woman that you barely know when she carried you home," he reasoned. "It didn't take long before everyone started rumours that you were a LESBIAN!"

Sophitia's cheeks turned furiously red when the memories come flooding back to her. Just because she was rescued by a woman the citizens of Athens all thought that she was a lesbian. When her father Achelous heard the news, he almost had a heart attack!

"So if that isn't the case then what it is the secret then?" Rothion demanded, looking suspicious. Jay wished that she would just hurry up right now so the truth would be revealed.

"Rothion...you're not the father of Patroklos and Pyrrha," she confessed.

"WHAT?!"

"Hell, you can have my daughter if it makes you feel any better!" Jay laughed. He soon backed away when Rothion raised his hand to punch him. "Or not..."

Sophitia just sat there, not knowing what to do while Rothion was seething silently in frustration. 'Bloody hell this is like a Greek tragedy opera,' Jay thought as he waited patiently for someone to speak first. He just couldn't believe that Sophitia was that sort of woman. All of a sudden Rothion jumped up from his seat.

"AHA! Siegfried's the father isn't he?!" he yelled triumphantly.

"Uh...I'm not exactly sure whether or not he is the father," she murmured, glancing down. "But yes, I admit that I did love Siegfried and we had an affair before you and I got married."

"So SOPHITIA, how many men have you slept with during your journey?"

Sophitia chucked slightly. "All of them..."

"ALL OF THEM?!" Rothion repeated in horror. Even Jay was surprised to hear this. "Oh, what did I do to deserve this?! WHY, GODS, WHY?!"

"Well it's not my fault," Sophitia defended, standing up and jabbing Rothion in the chest. "I can't help it that you CAN'T get it up all the time!"

He gasped, obviously betrayed by what she just said while everyone burst out laughing. "How could you? You promised that you would never say that ever..."

"Oh, and I've got something else for you too," Sophitia said mysteriously. "We have a foster son called Ivan."

Before Rothion could say anything further a young boy with black hair ran onto the stage, delighted to see his mother standing there. With a cry of happiness Ivan flung himself into Sophitia's arms and embraced her. A few seconds later Ivan approached Rothion with a huge smile on his face.

"Father!" Ivan exclaimed, attempting to embrace the man. Rothion halted the boy by placing a hand in front of him.

"If you come any closer then you're dead," Rothion threatened in a pissed off voice. Ivan's eyes turned a dark shade of yellow and Ivan shot him a look. Jay knew that something bad will happen.

"That's it," Ivan snarled. "You'll pay for what you said just now!"

Rothion smirked. "Oh yes? I'd like to see you try boy."

Ivan grinned impishly then stepped forward and bit him hard on the finger. Rothion screamed in agony and tried to break free.

"OWWWW!!!! THIS IS EVEN WORSE THAN ME GETTING HURT BY THE CHILDREN WHEN THEY WERE FIGHTING OVER THAT DAMN SHARD!"

"I think it would be best if we invited you back at the end of the series to find out who the real father is," Jay told Sophitia, wondering when the madness was going to stop.

"Hey, shit head!" a male voice called out. Jay instantly looked to his left to see Carter Nick standing a few inches away from him on the stage. He didn't like the grin on his face at all.

"Oh no, not you again." Jay silently prayed that Carter Nick wasn't there to beat him up once more.

"Myth is out of jail since he's got bailed out," Carter Nick taunted. "And he's after you so I think you better run for your life."

"I'm afraid it's time up now so tune in for the next episode of _A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared_!" Jay shakily said as he started to run for the nearest exit when he heard a distant gunshot. "HELP, I'VE GOT A MADMAN AFTER ME!"

**A/N: **Here's an idea – I'm giving you the chance to guess who the real father is to Sophitia's children. Now you can choose from any of the Soul Calibur men except from the COTs characters as they're not part of this. The last ever chapter of this story will review the mystery father and whoever gets it right will be specially mentioned and will receive a virtual kiss/cuddle from me! Okay, the next character I'll be doing is Zasalamel as I've got an interesting idea for him.


	11. The Price of Immortality

**A/N: **Oh, my God – I've just found out that Soul Calibur 4 have bonus characters! They're none other than Darth Vader (PS3 version) and Yoda (XBOX 360 version) from bloody Star Wars! To be honest that is such a ridiculous idea as it's just plain weird and I bet someone from the Namco Bandai team (who I think is a Star Wars freak) suggested the idea. After I found out I spent twenty minutes or so ranting about it to my brother. On that note I received a lot of encouragement about the last chapter and all of the guesses were very interesting. I would like to thank those who have reviewed and they are Jamester211, Highwayman Myth, Passerbywanderer, Firestrider, Valkyrie Celes, Link Guru, Razer Athane, Rain Crystal, xvalentinexbladex, The Legend of Soul Emblem and pawprint0110. You guys are the greatest ;-) So anyway here is Chapter 11 of 'A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared' and it features the merciless and cold-hearted character Zasalamel. In SC3 you would all know that Zasalamel wants to find peace in death and would like nothing better to break the cycle of being reincarnated all the time. Well in this chapter he seeks to find both the swords Soul Edge and Soul Calibur and would stand at nothing to accomplish his goal...

**Disclaimer: **Woo-hoo! Guess who got invited to hang out with Ivy and Rock? Yep, that's right – me!

Ivy: I along with all the other characters belong to this charming Japanese company called Namco.

Rock: The only character AngelEyes87 does own is Jay.

Zasalamel (pops out of nowhere): Do you not realise I do know who the father of Sophitia's children is?

AngelEyes87 (laughs): Why, are you the father then?

Zasalamel (seriously): Do not be so absurd! The father is simply-

AngelEyes87 (interrupts): No, don't say it otherwise EVERYONE will know.

Zasalamel: Very well. (sighs) I'll just have to return fairly soon then. (walks off)

AngelEyes87: So anyway I kidnapped the person who said about having Darth Vader and Yoda in the game and I'll wont be letting him go until Namco pays me a million pounds as a ransom.

Ivy (applauds): Very well done, dear. Just continue to stand your ground and they'll surrender.

Rock: Oh, look who's coming our way now.

Raphael (excited): You all have to hear what my Amy can say now! Tell them Amy.

Amy (to Ivy): You're a hoe!

Raphael: Isn't it just marvellous?! Well I'm off now to have a word with Jay. (walks off with Amy)

Ivy (glares): Trust you to have your PIMP OF A SON to teach Amy proper English!

Rock: Well I've tried sorting Bangoo out but he won't listen to me. (rolls eyes) What else am I supposed to do?

Ivy: Oh, I've got an idea. (smiles evilly) I'll be sure to WHIP Raphael into shape. Ta-ta! (follows Raphael while AngelEyes87 and Rock stares after her)

AngelEyes87 (cringes): God help Raphael...

Rock: Amen to that!

**A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared**

**By AngelEyes87**

**Chapter 11: The Price of Immortality**

"Hi there and a big welcome there to _A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared_!" Jay exclaimed with excitement whilst smiling cheerfully. "As you all know by now I'm your host Jay and I sure am glad to see YOU guys yet again!"

The audience just stared at Jay in stunned silence, wondering how WAS it possible for him to be on the show once again. In some way, they all were hoping that he would be gone for good now but to no avail Jay still kept on coming back. Everyone actually thought that AngelEyes87 was such a brilliant presenter, even better than Jay however the only person who couldn't understand this was none other but Jay.

"Last week Sophitia admitted to her husband that he weren't the real father of her children, which means that by the end of the series we will find out," he explained. "After the show Sophitia contacted all the men she had slept with while Rothion asked for a divorce and then-"

"Yes, and then Myth beat the shit out of you!" came the smug reply of a young red haired woman. "In fact you REALLY deserved it!"

"No, he did not beat me up," Jay corrected abruptly, clenching both hands into fists. "He done something much worse to me, which I'm not going to explain ever."

"You're nothing but a mouse then," the woman sneered mockingly. She was obviously laughing at Jay in an attempt to piss him off and it was working just fine.

"Bitch!" Jay snarled quietly under his breath. The red-head just glared fiercely at him in response, silently warning him that she would march right up to him and give him a good slapping. Frankly Jay even couldn't care less if she did it or not.

Poor old Jay couldn't even bring himself to explain what happened to him when Myth was released from prison as it was extremely embarrassing. Before he could get away quite easily AngelEyes87 tripped him up, sending him flying to the floor before Carter Nick and finally Myth appeared. The two men had seized him, holding him still while with immense pleasure AngelEyes87 stripped every inch of clothing from his body. Jay couldn't believe what was going on and feebly begged them to stop but they wouldn't take ANY notice. Instead the trio took a naked Jay outside and tied him to a pole and just left him there while they disappeared. Things went downhill indeed as a group of young school children which was accompanied by a strict female teacher headed in his direction. As soon as they set eyes on an indecent Jay the children screamed with horror as they ran away while the teacher approached Jay and gave him such a good telling off. For the first time in his life Jay was very uncomfortable and he wanted the ground to swallow him up whole. Never in his entire life had he felt degraded and there was nothing that he could do.

Luckily his boss managed to spot him, almost driving the car into a wall in a state of sheer shock of seeing a bare arsed Jay. Immediately he was pulled into the car in the fear of someone else seeing them and in case the TV company would be flooded with hate mail and death threats. Much to Jay's surprise his boss wouldn't listen to his story at all and came to a conclusion that some punk kids done that to him to take the piss out of him. Later on that night to make things even worse Jay received a call from Myth, saying that if he ever sent him to prison again then he won't hesitate to sort him out. When he went to bed, Jay had one eye opened just in case Myth broke into his house and do something like shoving a pillow in his face in hopes of suffocating him to death. Even though he hated to admit this, Jay was shit scared of Myth.

'Best not to think about it,' Jay thought to himself, glancing both left and right to check if Myth wasn't standing there. Suddenly his eyes widened as the fact dawned on him that he was paranoid!

"Anyway today's show is about this mysterious man who has mastered the ancient art of reincarnation," Jay announced, his voice laced with interest. "He was once a member of a primeval tribe that protected the spirit sword Soul Calibur and when he tried to take it he got found out and was shunned by the tribe. Ever since then he has lost all joy in living as a result of being reincarnated all the time. Please welcome Zasalamel!"

At that moment there was nothing but silence and Zasalamel didn't appear on stage at all. For the first time Jay didn't know what to do as it didn't look like if he was going to turn up. The audience glared impatiently at him, waiting for something to happen and Jay could only smile sheepishly at them, laughing nervously. He could see the fire in their eyes and it looked as if any minute they would kill him in an instant. 'Where the HELL is Zasalamel NOW?!' Jay thought, breaking out into a cold sweat.

Just then he heard a deep voice from up above. "Wondering where I was?"

Jay looked up and he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Zasalamel had a faint blue glow around his body as he slowly descended through the massive hole in the ceiling, just hovering in the air. How the HELL can he do that?! Upon seeing this, everyone in the audience gasped in sheer amazement. Jay just stared dumbfounded at him. Zasalamel was wearing tribal robes that covered the majority of his muscular body and his skin was the colour of dark, rich chocolate. His feet touched the floor with a gentle thud. Jay gulped in fear when he noticed that his left eye was the colour of pure gold – what was the reason behind this? His eyes settled on the scythe that was gripped firmly in his gloved hand. 'Oh, my God! HE'S THE GRIM REAPER!' Jay realised to himself.

"Do not confuse with me with the grim reaper," Zasalamel told him. "Otherwise I shall have to kill you if I have to."

He gaped at him. "What the-?! How did you know what I was thinking just now?!"

"Simple – I can read minds." Zasalamel approached Jay, smiling darkly at him. "I know quite a lot about you Jay. Correct me if I'm wrong but did you not lose a fight to a girl when you thought it was clever to tease her little sister?"

In response Jay's cheeks blushed furiously as what Zasalamel said was nothing but the damn truth. At this the crowd started to laugh at Jay as he looked like if he was going to piss himself, something which he had never done before.

"Are you God?" he demanded suspiciously.

"No, I am YOUR worst nightmare..."

"Ah, well...welcome to the show Zasalamel." At that moment Jay promised himself that he was no longer going to think as he felt as if he was skating on thin ice whilst being in the presence of Zasalamel.

"Humph!" snorted Zasalamel as he sat down on the chair. "What a mediocre show this is."

"Really? Well I haven't noticed," Jay drawled sarcastically, wondering if he could knock Zasalamel out by hitting a shovel over his head. He didn't like the man at all even though he was a guest. "Please explain why you're on the show then."

"I have been cursed for such a long time now and I want to get rid of it once and for all," Zasalamel stated seriously. Up until now Jay realised that his voice didn't sound like it belonged to a black man as it didn't have the bass. Jay bit his lip from laughing out loud. "Due to my being reborn all the time over countless of generations I grew weary of it and my desire of dying became stronger eventually."

"Surely being immortal can't be THAT bad!" Jay remarked, chuckling heartedly. "God, if I was immortal then I'd more than happy."

Upon saying that, Jay slipped into a daydream where he was immortal and that all people worshipping him like a God. He would have his own kingdom, building his very own empire where the people would obey his every command. They will all bow down at his feet as Jay passed them by, chanting "All hail Emperor Jay!" Zasalamel stared at Jay through dark narrow eyes while Jay was just standing on the spot with a goofy grin on his face. But he was soon brought back to reality as Zasalamel burst his bubble.

"Do not delude yourself, you would make a futile Emperor!"

"Damn it," Jay murmured. Why did HE have to go and spoil his daydream?! "So anyway what happened next?"

Zasalamel cleared his throat before continuing with his story. "While spending years in vain and despair, I realised that my only hope was to retrieve Soul Calibur. However when I returned to the place that my tribe was, there was no trace of it and the sword too. Somehow the gods smiled down upon me as I finally discovered Soul Calibur as well as Soul Edge existed still."

"Zasalamel, is it true that you're eliminating EVERYONE who stands in your way without having any second thoughts?"

"But of course." Zasalamel laughed wickedly, freaking out Jay in the process. "Those who seek the sword I lure them to the clock tower so that I can kill them. When I found the remains of Nightmare's armour in the Lost Cathedral I weaved a magical spell over it to breath life into Nightmare once again."

"HA! Siegfried has defeated Nightmare already so put that in your pipe and smoke it!" Jay protested smugly. For a few seconds or so Zasalamel kept quiet, not saying a word and Jay knew that what he said shut him up completely. Sweet victory was his at last!

"Little do you know that Nightmare has returned," he said coolly. "I revived him yet again."

"Shit!" Jay knew that it spelt trouble and that Siegfried was going to have a shock of his life when Nightmare was after him still. Thank God that Jay didn't have some crazy knight stalking him!

"Not only that but I have sent people who have survived Nightmare's massacres in the past to find Siegfried to have their revenge," added Zasalamel.

"God, no wonder everyone hates you!" Jay pointed out, raising an eyebrow at him. "I bet when you invite people to parties all you do is try to KILL THEM!"

"Hmm, I am surprised that you can say intelligent things considering what a SMALL brain you have..."

Jay was THIS close to wiping off the taunting smile that Zasalamel had on his face by giving him such a good slap. No one ever said something like that to Jay and get away with it at the same time! Jay growled, swinging his fist to slug him. Out of quick reflexes Zasalamel caught his punch in mid air, surprising Jay even more in the process. With a cruel grin Zasalamel started to crush Jay's hand until he was yelling like a sissy.

"If you DARE do that again then I will not hesitate to end your life," he warned lowly. "Do you understand?"

Jay whimpered in absolute pain."YEEEAAHHHH!!"

He swiftly released his hand while Jay just stood there clutching his throbbing hand while muttering dark curses underneath his breath. There was no doubt that Zasalamel wanted to take over the world and Jay had to get the hell out of the studio quickly to get some help.

"ARTHUR, COME HERE!" Zasalamel roared.

"What the hell?" Jay said, bewildered.

Immediately a man walked onto the stage, appearing to be dressed in samurai clothes. 'Bloody hell, he looks like Mitsurugi!' thought Jay, blinking. The man really did look look like him but the only difference was that Arthur had blonde hair and an eye patch. Jay wondered what crazy thoughts were going on in the mind of Zasalamel right now! Arthur stood a few inches away from the man who called him. Arthur obviously didn't look too pleased.

"What the bloody hell do you want?" Arthur demanded in an irritated voice. "I was having a good old smoke before YOU called!"

"Quiet, fool!" Zasalamel barked. "I want you to search for Soul Edge and Soul Calibur and bring it back to me so my dream of dying can be fulfilled."

"Oh no, BUDDY! I want Soul Edge for myself so that I can destroy it so no one will go through what I'd suffered. My wife was killed because she kept a shard of the sword so-!"

Arthur was interrupted when he was hoisted off his feet by the collar of his shirt by none other than Zasalamel. "YOU WILL DO AS I COMMAND!" Zasalamel growled, hypnotising Arthur with his eyes while Jay watched on in horror. "NOW BRING ME BOTH SWORDS AND DO NOT FAIL ME AT ALL!"

"Yes, master," Arthur stated as he was in a trance. When Arthur was on the ground again he walked off the stage. Jay cautiously stepped back, hoping that he wouldn't shit his pants because Zasalamel was going WAY too far. Suddenly he wished that he was at home – at least he was safe there!

"Do you not know what happened to my former servant Revenant?" Zasalamel gently asked .

"N-no!" Jay stuttered.

"I killed him because he made such a foolish mistake. He thought it would be hilarious to put make-up on me while I was asleep!"

At that moment Jay didn't know whether to agree with Zasalamel or burst out laughing at him. If he dared snicker then he would be a dead man. Within a few seconds Arthur finally returned on the stage with something hidden behind his back.

"Here you go master. I've brought you Soul Edge and Soul Calibur."

Zasalamel's eye began to twitch violently as Arthur shown him what he had behind his back – it was the Soul Edge game on Playstation and the Soul Calibur game on Dreamcast. From the look on his face Jay knew that Zasalamel was going to explode any minute now. Zasalamel yanked the games from Arthur's hands.

"WHY AM I SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS ALL THE TIME?!" he screamed angrily while hurling the games at a man in the front row, knocking him out.

A flash of light suddenly engulfed his body and soon enough Zasalamel turned into Abyss. Arthur was about to make his escape when Abyss picked him up with his magical powers and slammed him up and down a couple of times before sending him flying through the hole of the ceiling. Zasalamel changed back to normal self soon afterwards, sighing sadly.

"I have failed yet again," Zasalamel said in disbelief. "Damn it!"

"That is all we have got time for now so tune in next week for _A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared_!" Jay exclaimed, looking at Zasalamel in amazement. "Can you teach me how to do that Zas?!"

**A/N: **Hehe, looks like Zasalamel has to think of yet another scheme in order for him to finally have his wish! The characters I'll be doing in the next chapter are Seung Han Myong, Edge Master, Olcadan and Heihachi and someone else will be presenting instead of Jay. Oh and Myth, I'm still waiting for your PM – I would love to hear your ideas xD


	12. Respect The Geezers!

**A/N: **According to my plans I've got another eleven chapters to go before I finish this entire story so that I'm halfway there already. It's not bad considering I started this since September last year. Other than that I would like to thank those who have reviewed and they are Highwayman Myth (thanks for the PM), Link Guru, Valkyrie Celes, Jamester211, Passerbywanderer, Neyla-Chan, The Legend of Soul Emblem, Firestrider, Razer Athane, mastersam, pawprint0110, Lupi Loop , xvalentinexbladex, Lacuna Lily, HoLYDeVil HeLLioN and finally GerudeoGirl89. Wow...I just can't believe I've got over a 100 hundred reviews with this story so I thank you all from the bottom of my heart! Anyway here is Chapter 12 of 'A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared' and it features the characters Seung Han Myong, Heihachi Mishima, Olcadan and finally Edge Master. To say the least all four of them are the senior warriors in the game series and even though they are old, they still are cool – at least they can fight for their age! I've played as them countless of times and they have never failed to impress me. In this chapter all four are demanding that they should be treated with respect but they soon get drunk in the process...

**Disclaimer: **I've asked my best friend on here, Razer Athane to borrow her character Razer and her favourite Tekken boy Hwoarang from her fic Just Like Me and like a good friend, she'd had let me!

Hwoarang (hugs Razer and then AngelEyes87): Good luck to both you girls out there when you're presenting. (smiles at Razer) I know you'll do a good job Raze.

Razer (blushes): Thanks Hwoarang. That's a nice thing to say!

Hwoarang: Anyway I'm gonna get going and take a seat in the audience to watch. (in Korean) I love you Razer. (walks off)

Razer: You know, he has always said that to me and I wonder what he means.

AngelEyes87: Have you asked him to translate it to you in English?

Razer: Yes but all he said that it was nothing bad. (sighs)

AngelEyes87 (pulls out a Korean-English translation book) Well maybe this will help then! (hands the book to Razer while she flicks through the pages)

Razer (in disbelief): I love raw meat? (frowns) Now why would he say to that to me?!

AngelEyes87 (laughs): Beats me! Try the next page then. (watches while Razer turns the page)

Razer (reads out loud): I love you. (smiles) So Hwoarang loves me then!

Setsuka: AngelEyes87! You've got to come quick – I've got something to show you (drags AngelEyes87 along with her)

AngelEyes87: This has better be important Setsuka...

Setsuka: It is. (opens the closet door to find Mitsurugi and Taki) Look!

Taki (gasps): Shit!

Mitsurugi (laughs nervously): Uh...hi.

AngelEyes87: Oh, my God! (faints to the floor in shock)

**A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared**

**By AngelEyes87**

**Chapter 12: Respect The Geezers!**

"Hello to all you guys out there! I'm your host Razer and you're now watching _A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared_!" Razer said excitedly, briefly waving to her cheering audience. "Anyway I was supposed to be presenting with AngelEyes87 today but she has passed out after finding Taki and Mitsurugi having sex up against a wall in a closet."

"See, I KNEW that there was something going on with them two!" an arrogant man yelled triumphantly from the audience. "Last night I was in a hotel room and I could swear that they were watching porn or even worse – making their OWN home video!"

Hwoarang turned around in his seat to glare at the man. "Could you shut the fuck up?! Razer is TRYING to present here!"

In response the man just crossed his arms over his broad chest, grumbling underneath his breath. Hwoarang winked cheekily at Razer and she just smiled in return. Razer knew that she could rely on Hwoarang any time as they have been close friends for six years now. She knew that in no time they will be MORE than friends and that is something that she will make sure to happen very soon. 'Hell, he sure looks sexy today', thought Razer as she started to stare at him dreamily. Soon enough she was brought back to reality as soon as the sound of some people clearing their throats reached her ears.

"As you know what happened on last week's show Arthur brought the games back to Zasalamel instead of the sword and let's just say that Zasalamel was none too happy about it," Razer continued. "Arthur was found lying in a ditch while Zasalamel literally disappeared off the face of the earth. If you're wondering where Jay is then he is taking a holiday in Brazil and he won't be back until next week."

A young blonde haired woman spoke up from the crowd. "Excuse me but when exactly is the father of Sophitia's childen going to be revealed? I can't wait any longer!"

"Well Miss, the moment won't be revealed until the end of the series as Jay insisted," Razer explained politely, hoping the lady was not going to complain furthermore. "Me and AngelEyes87 tried begging him to change his mind about it but he's being a BIG jackass."

"Ha, I agree with you on that one!" the woman exclaimed, grinning. 'At least I'm not the only one who thinks Jay is stupid,' Razer thought as she started to chuckle.

Since Jay was begged to go on holiday by his boss as things were getting out of control with what happened with him being tied up naked out in public, AngelEyes87 thought it would be best to give her best friend Razer a call so that they could meet up for old time's sake. AngelEyes87 had first encountered Razer along with Hwoarang in Japan a few months back before the Tekken tournament commenced. The three of them all got on like a house on fire at first and they remained close friends, especially Razer and AngelEyes87. As agreed, both the girls met up and Razer managed to get a glimpse of Jay before he flew to Brazil. Upon first meeting him Razer found out that what AngelEyes87 had said about Jay was true and Razer REALLY wanted to kick the arrogance out of him for good. Knowing Hwoarang he would do just that if he was there!

Anyway AngelEyes87 and Razer went to a local restaurant and there, AngelEyes87 asked her friend if she would be her co-presenter when Jay was on holiday for that week. Razer was thrilled as soon as she heard it – she has never presented a show before! Immediately she accepted the offer and after their dinner they celebrated even more by going to a fancy nightclub and dancing the whole night away. Needless to say, both girls had a fun time together and what made it all the more enjoyable was when these two fellas thought it would be funny to try and convince AngelEyes87 and Razer to have sex with them then Razer taught them both a lesson by kicking them really hard in the privates! Razer would NEVER take any shit from anyone, especially when it comes to cocky guys with only one thing on their mind.

Just before Razer was about to speak to the audience, she heard the distant squeaking of wheels. A confused look appeared on her face as she turned around to see an Asian man pushing a table on wheels along the stage. Razer raised an eyebrow as she noticed four glasses along with a giant drink bowl on top of the table. 'This is really odd,' she thought to herself.

"Uh...what the hell is that?"

"Punch," the Asian replied. "It's for the four gentlemen."

"For God's sake this is not some sort of a FUCKING happy hour at the local pub," Razer told the man firmly. The man done nothing but cringed. "Get it off right now!"

"No can do. The guests required drink on the stage. I-I hope that's not a problem with you..."

"Yeah, whatever," Razer sighed, shaking her head as if to say she had no choice or say in the matter. "Anyway if they get pissed on stage then it's certainly NOT my fault."

The man could only smile politely at Razer before walking off the stage again. 'Ha, even Pigtails has more sense than him!' she thought as she smirked. Razer was tempted to ask him if he had a girlfriend already then if he said no then maybe she can play matchmaker with him and Xiaoyu. Anyway it would be a great laugh to tease her once again as when she got pissed off she absolutely throws a tantrum just like a child. The last time she got into a bad mood was when she woke up to find Hwoarang bending over her in bed, attempting to give her a haircut.

Razer smiled at her audience. "Today's show is quite a special one as we have four guests. All of them come from all different parts of the world. Not only that they are incredibly skilled in fighting techniques they have taught thousands of students and helping them to achieve their full potential and to become the best warriors. Would you please welcome on stage Seung Han Myong, Edge Master, Olcadan and...Heihachi Mishima."

The entire audience started to applaud while giving a standing ovation when Edge Master, Heihachi, Olcadan and Seung Han Myong appeared onto the stage with wide bright smiles on their faces. Well all except from one and that was Heihachi who stared at Razer coldly. In return Razer narrowed her green eyes at him, not letting his presence imitate her at all. She was much better than that. 'What the fuck is this old man here for?' Razer thought while she continued to hold eye contact with him, his eyes burning deep into her soul. This was the man who beaten her to a bloody pulp when she had faced him in the Tekken Tournament recently and had failed in his attempts to kill her to extract the cursed Devil Gene from her body. Heihachi Mishima was a twisted old man who could never be trusted whatsoever and he deserved to be annihilated once and for all. His grandson Jin Kazama absolutely hated him and from what Jin told Razer it would seem that Heihachi would take all his anger out on him, constantly mocking him on being nothing but Kazama filth. Razer's Devil started to stir within in reaction to Heihachi's presence. _Mortal, let me at him...I can kill him here and now! _'SHUT THE HELL UP AND IF YOU BOTHER ME AGAIN THEN YOU'RE FUCKING IN FOR IT!' Razer's inner voice furiously screamed back at the Devil, instantly silencing 'her'.

"Welcome to the show guys," Razer greeted them politely while they all sat down in their chairs and began filling up their glasses with punch.

"Hmm, it is a pleasure to be here Miss Athane," Heihachi informed coolly. Just then a sadistic grin laced his features. "I'm glad to see you have survived your injuries."

Razer growled viciously and stormed over to him with one of her hands curled into a fist. "IF YOU WANT A FIGHT NOW OLD MAN THEN I'LL GLADLY GIVE IT TO YOU! IT'S NO FUCKING WONDER YOU ALLOW YOUR TEKKEN SOLDIERS DO YOUR DIRTY WORK FOR YOU, YOU ARROGANT SON OF A-"

"Yo Raze, let it go," Hwoarang spoke up from the audience. "It's not WORTH it – don't let him to you!"

She took a few steps from where Heihachi was sitting, realising that what Hwoarang had said was true. But bloody hell she was tempted to wipe off Heihachi's smirk by giving him a face full of kicks just like in the previous battle! Razer smiled sheepishly at Edge Master, Han Myong and Olcadan. She really hoped that they wouldn't join forces with Heihachi and in a result she would run screaming in the opposite direction as they try and basically kill her! Luckily it never happened so she sighed in relief.

"So please tell us a little bit about yourselves!"

Olcadan cleared his throat while the other three sipped their drinks in silence. "Allow me to go first. I'm an expert in all sorts of martial arts and all I was interested in was my strength. Well even though that people would be in awe of me they would think that I was insane therefore I just ignored them. Naturally as time passed by I could say that I was undefeated in every duel so I set my sights on the gods and-"

"But why the hell have you got an OWL'S head?" Razer couldn't help but laugh at this. 'Perhaps he is a distant relative of King!' she thought to herself.

"Go ahead – make fun out of my head. That's what everyone does!" Olcadan snapped, obviously pissed off. Razer's giggles died down at once. "Anyway I challenged an owl messenger of the god of war and let's just say I angered the god so he turned my head into that of an owl. Not only that but he sealed me in a labyrinth, basically trapping me like a RAT! But as time passed a powerful force broke free of the seal, awaking me from a deep slumber so I stepped forth into the outside world to test my skill on the greatest of warriors of this age."

"That's impressive," Razer admitted out of sheer fascination. Even though Olcadan looked ridiculous with an owl's head he really did sound like a seasoned warrior. "So how about you Han Myong?"

"Back in my homeland of Korea I'm the master of my own fighting school and I have groomed many youngsters into skilled warriors," Han Myong explained modestly. My wife along with my son died of sickness and I was left with my daughter Seung Mina who gave me nothing but HELL when she was in her teens. You see, I wanted her to settle down at home but she had other ideas! Mina was a bit of a rebel as she run away three times now in search of Soul Edge to save our homeland from invasion of the Japanese however my favourite student Hwang dragged her back home every time. Now she is on another quest to seek the sword as I allowed her due to the fact I have been overprotective of her."

"Well that is understandable," Razer mused, smoothing down her shiny auburn hair. "If I had a daughter like that then I would be the same as you." Razer then turned her attention on Edge Master. "Now let's hear your story."

"Before I start let me clear up a few things," he said, shooting a glare in Olcadan's direction. "This bumbling fool over there doesn't even know what he's TALKING about! He claims he is all Mr High and Mighty being undefeated in every duel when actually we had a fight and it resulted in a DRAW! Why won't you get off your high horse and admit that?"

In a fit of rage Olcadan leapt up from his seat and started to walk over to Edge Master, cracking his knuckles. "Where I come from those are fighting words!"

"What, from the labyrinth?" Edge Master taunted, hooting with laughter. Before Olcadan could even lay a single punch on the bearded man Razer grabbed his arm and dragged him back to his seat. Once Olcadan was seated Razer sent him such a firm look, which made him gulp in fear.

"If I ever catch you fighting on this show then I won't hesitate to kick all of your asses to fucking Kingdom come!" Razer warned in a low voice. All four of them flinched. Satisfied that they got the message she had calmed down, saying to Edge Master, "Please continue."

"Thank you Razer," he informed, sticking his tongue out to a fuming Olcadan. Razer rolled her eyes to the ceiling when she had seen it. "I was a teacher of the Ling-Sheng Su Temple and I had to burn it down completely as the Evil Seed rained down, causing mayhem and destruction. It was there I had met this young student called Kilik and I had taught him to suppress and purify the evil within him. A few months ago Kilik was brought back by his friend Xianghua as he got defeated by a mysterious man with a scythe and over time I trained with him. I transferred evil energy into my body and Kilik was able to hit a purifying hit on me but...unfortunately he wounded me in the process."

"Well the kind of same thing happened to my master Baek," Razer admitted, reminiscing. She smiled widely and laughter soon erupted from her. "Baek and I were training a few years back and by accident I punched him SO hard that he went flying backwards and he managed to hit his head against a brick wall. Hell, I-"

She was soon interrupted by Heihachi. "Aren't you going to ask me about my story Miss Athane? You do realise that it is completely rude to disrespect an elder like me."

'Why can't he bloody well SHUT his freaking mouth up?!' Razer thought, settling her gaze on the old man who had a smug grin on his face. She growled under her breath, trying all her best to keep her anger at bay. A few seconds later she totally calmed down and gave her bitter enemy such a sweet smile. Ha, two can bloody well play that game!

"Oh, I'm SO sorry," Razer said, sarcasm laced in her voice. "How rude it is of me to actually forget you like that..."

"I completed my training with my loyal pet Kuma," he began telling his story. Razer sniggered quietly to herself. 'Man, he must really love Kuma then. Pity that he associates with animals and he HATES all his family.' Heihachi paused for a second and Razer stopped laughing then. "Anyway we went to a nearby spring ad that's where I found this shard. I seen it from somewhere as I encountered an ancient scroll which spoke of this cursed sword Soul Edge. Reaching out for it I cut myself on it and then the next thing I knew when I woke up was I wasn't at the resort!"

"Well, whoop-di-do!" she exclaimed dryly. To be honest she couldn't give a damn about Heihachi and all his stories. Razer just hoped that he would choke on his drink and just drop down dead.

He sent her such a cold look that would have made anyone blush with embarrassment. "ANYWAY I wandered around for the time being and I soon realised that I wasn't in modern day Japan anymore – I somehow managed to be in the 16th Century. I knew that many warriors were on the search for this legendary sword so I wanted it for myself as it would be such a PERFECT challenge to test my strength and power."

Discreetly Razer yawned. She wasn't at all surprised by Heihachi's motives. From day one she knew he was a twisted old man who wanted world domination. If he thought that he was God then he was VERY wrong as no one would worship him especially Razer.

"So please tell us why you're on the show then," Razer commented, wondering there has to be a reason why. Perhaps they wanted to prove that they were greater than each other.

"Well we just want respect," Olcadan answered as all of them were on their third or fourth drink now. Razer raised an eyebrow in surprise. They really can handle their drink then!

"Yes," Edge Master added, nodding his head as if he agreed with Olcadan's idea. "I mean, we are senior warriors and we teach young people to prefect their weaponry skills. With that in mind they should treat us with respect."

"But most youngsters don't know the MEANING of respect nowadays," Han Myong chimed in, slugging back his drink. Soon enough he burped loudly and Razer crinkled her nose in disgust as it was such a foul smell. What the hell has he eaten today – raw fish?

"That's right," Heihachi commented. "Most of the students think they know everything but then again they don't. Bah, even though we are not as young as them we can still beat them within an inch of their life."

"Yeah, I admit you all have good points there," Razer remarked. "Baek drummed it into my mind that we should all respect our seniors and it's worked."

"Ha, speak for yourself Miss Athane," Heihachi shot back. "What you say is all lies. You don't respect ME at all!"

Razer decided to ignore his comment. She would give anything in the world to throttle him at this very moment. "Anyway what would you do if a student or someone else don't treat you with respect?"

"Hmm, I would normally punish them," Han Myong said, slurring his words. "The other day I caught one of my students Yun Sung mocking me when I was standing behind him in front of some other students. He soon shut up when I gave him such a hard slap around the head and for his punishment I made him do all the chores around the school."

"For the love of God!" Edge Master burst out laughing, amused by what he said. Han Myong stared at him, bewildered. "You're meant to be training the boy to be a tough warrior, NOT to be a housemaid!"

Razer could tell that Han Myong was totally pissed off with Edge Master's comment as his brown eyes darkened. She could have sworn that she could see steam coming from both his ears.

"Shut it you old fool!"

"Why don't you come over here and MAKE me!" Edge Master retorted in a drunken temper.

Razer looked around and realised something wrong. They were all drunk! 'Great, this is JUST what I need,' Razer thought to herself, frowing deeply. She knew she had to do something otherwise this will escalate into a drunken brawl.

"GUYS!" she yelled, trying to catch their attention. "How can you demand respect from everyone when you don't respect each other?!"

"Oh, who cares?" Olcadan crooned, shrugging his shoulders. "LET'S PARTY!"

Razer couldn't help but watch helplessly as all four of them got up on their feet, staggering around in the process while making wild hooting noises, dancing terribly to some imaginary music. This was beyond hell! How the hell was she going to calm them all down when they were in this state? She could easily cope with Hwoarang being pissed out of his mind but four senior warriors...that was a total nightmare. Edge Master ran to the far side of the stage, almost tripping over his feet a few times and started to climb up a pole with a big grin on his face. Razer's mouth dropped in shock as she watched Edge Master walked stealthily across one of the roof's beams, balancing on it. 'How does he manage not to fall off I fucking well don't know,' Razer thought, shaking her head.

"HEY, COME BACK DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW MISTER OTHERWISE YOU WILL HURT YOURSELF!" Razer ordered loudly. Great, now she sounded just like a mother telling off a child! Sighing in defeat, she didn't know what to do until she almost got tackled off her feet as Han Myong threw his arms around her, tears running down his face.

"Oh, I really miss my daughter!" he cried out loudly, burying his face in Razer's shirt. She bit her lip in frustration as he was ruining her most favourite Linkin Park shirt in the world. "Mina means the world to me. God, if I lost her I wouldn't know what to do! Why can't she come home so I can-"

"GET OFF ME!" Razer growled, cutting him off. She roughly shoved him and he fell down to the ground. She didn't want to do that but his dreadful wailing got on her nerves. Razer ignored his loud cries and cursed inwardly as she saw Olcadan fighting some members of the audience. A young man went flying past her while screaming at the top of voice and soon enough his back collided with the wall with a sickening thud. All that Razer could do was to wince in pain. Suddenly she turned her head and seen Heihachi clumsly practising his kata, stumbling about. She was tempted to laugh out loud but she just couldn't. Her dreams of becoming a good presenter was falling apart all in front of her.

"How the hell can they get drunk on punch?" she murmured in disbelief. She narrowed her eyes at the punch bowl. Through the midst of what was taking place all around her, Razer marched right up to the trolley, grabbed a glass and dipped it in the cool liquid. She slowly sipped it. 'Wait a minute, this isn't punch!' Razer thought to herself suspiciously. It was none other but sake. Razer knew this for a fact as while staying in Japan she along with Hwoarang tried sake. Angrily she threw the glass down on the ground. Someone was going to pay for this and she would make sure of it!

"Shit!" Razer managed to duck an oncoming chair and watched with amazement as the chair hit Edge Master while he was balancing on the beam and within seconds he landed on the ground on a massive heap. He managed to drag himself back onto his feet and stormed over to Olcadan who was standing not too far enough, laughing and pointing at him.

"YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET IT BIRD BRAIN!"

With that Olcadan and Edge Master was involved in a fierce fight, exchanging blows and kicks. Han Myong soon stopped crying and scrambled over to it along with a few excited men from the audience, cheering and encouraging them. Razer was about to walk over there and try and break the fight but she wasn't too quick enough.

"Not so fast!" Heihachi declared in triumph, trapping her in his strong grip from behind. She started to struggle, fighting for her life. "You're coming with me so I can kill you in order to get the Devil Gene from you!"

"UNHAND ME YOU BASTARD!" Razer protested furiously. Heihachi laughed madly before dragging her to the massive hole in the wall. Narrowing his eyes, Hwoarang ran straight towards him. No one was going to try and capture her and get away with it! With a loud yell, he landed a flying kick to Heihachi, knocking him to the floor. His eyes were closed firmly and Razer realised that he had been knocked out.

A pair of strong arms pulled her up and soon enough she was staring into Hwoarang's gentle eyes.

"You okay?" he asked, smiling. Razer laughed and cuddled him briefly before turning to her audience once again.

"I'm afraid that we have now run out of time. Please join us next week for another episode of _A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared_," Razer announced, grinning. "Hwoarang, I FUCKING love you too!"

**A/N: **My apologies for the late delay as I've been busy with another stuff and as this was such a long chapter I had to think of some good ideas so it took me a bit of time. Hehe, I wouldn't like to join all four of them in a bar especially when Olcadan and Edge Master starts to fight! Anyway the next characters I'll be doing is Hwang and Yun Sung as it would be interesting for them to fight over a woman...


	13. Revenge of the Myth

**A/N: **Yes, that's right – I'm back again! Sorry for neglecting this story as well as my other SC stories, but having said that all things are going to change and I promise I won't abandon all of you anymore :) Just a few days ago, I have made my return to this site by writing a Tekken one-shot (yep, that's another favourite games just so you know) to prove I'm still alive on here. Anyway I'd like to thank you for not only for your patience, but your encouraging reviews and they are Link Guru, Valkyrie Celes, Razer Athane, HoLY DeVil HeLLioN, mastersam, Jamester211, Ronin Drake, The Legend of Soul Emblem, D'Leh, Highwayman Myth, pawprint0110, xxN3ROxx, xvalentinexbladex, Wraith the Destroyer, Lacuna Lily, Unknown, ColinatorGx, Nicky Schreuder, Celestial Zodiac and Chris. Anyway here is the long awaited Chapter 13 of 'A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared' and I know I did say in the last chapter I was going to focus on Hwang and Yun Seong, but a change of plan has happened. One of my closest friends, Highwayman Myth, sent me a guest chapter (the very first time this sort of thing has happened to this story, lol!) and it features Darth Vader, The Apprentice (Starkiller) and Yoda. I'm sure you all know the Star Wars fighters are guest characters in SC4, and to tell you the truth I use them from time to time, but my only complaint was when I first played the game was that the Apprentice was so damn hard to beat! Having said that, I hope you enjoy this fun-packed chapter ;-)

**Disclaimer: **Looks like Jay and I are in for a shocker when we find out who's presenting, not to mention the change in plans xD

AngelEyes87: What the bloody hell is going on, this isn't the planned update that everyone's been waiting for.

Jay: Tell me about it, I just received a notice saying that I'm not hosting today's long awaited show.

Highwayman Myth: That's because I am.

AngelEyes87: Nick…WHY THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU HERE?

Highwayman Myth: Please don't call me by name, Kay. Look, I'm sorry that I caused you to break up with me. I know that you found a new man already, but I still feel like I need to make things right. Will you please just let me host today's show?

AngelEyes87: Fine, you may host. But you can't earn someone's trust again overnight. Do I make myself clear?

Highwayman Myth: Crystal clear.

Jay: What about me?

Highwayman Myth (pulls out a gun and fires): Go to sleep.

Jay (passing out): Son of a bit…

AngelEyes87: You shot him?

Highwayman Myth: It's just the MK.22 from Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater. It's a tranquilizer gun. He's only taking a nap.

AngelEyes87: Ok… Just don't shoot me with it.

**A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared**

**Story by AngelEyes87, Chapter by Highwayman Myth**

**Chapter 13: Revenge of the Myth**

"Sup y'all, this is Highwayman Myth! I'm today's host," he said getting a large cheer form the audience.

"Any questions about today's show?" he asked.

"Why did you remove Pirate of the Mediterranean and replace it with two cheap reboots?" a random audience member asked.

"Because it was outdated and I was no longer friends with one of the authors who co-operated with me in the past at the time. But we have finally worked things out and hopefully our friendship will be stronger," Highwayman Myth replied.

"But we all loved that Myth, will you please just repost the original or just edit out those co-ops?" the audience member now asked.

"Look, I asked if there were any questions about the show, not my works! Next question?" Highwayman Myth replied, hoping for a question about the show.

"What happened to the Pirate of the Mediterranean Myth?" another audience member asked.

"He slept with one of the whores in the brothel and died of AIDS! Now are there any questions about the show!?" he now said in a very pissed off tone.

"No one here believes that, but I have a question about the show. Where's Jay? Will he be on stage at all today?"

"No he will not. I shot him before the show today…" he started before the crowd cheered so loudly that it could be heard in France.

"Let me finish! I used a tranquilizer gun," he said aloud.

"Aw man," the whole crowd said disappointed in unison.

"Now, today's show will be having three special guests. And by that, I mean guest characters. Sorry, its not Link, Spawn, or Heihachi. Heck, Heihachi was already a guest on the show, so I couldn't get him if I wanted. And sadly Kratos is hard to get a hold of, so we couldn't get him either."

"What about Lloyd?" another audience member asked.

"What about him?" Highwayman Myth asked back.

"He was a guest character in Soul Calibur Legends," the audience member stated.

"Yeah… well… Symphonia isn't exactly the cheapest place to call either," Highwayman Myth replied, scratching the back of his head.

"Basically saying, you forgot about him," the audience member pointed out.

"Yes, I did," Highwayman Myth said with his head down.

After a few moments of silence, he now said "We could only get the Star Wars characters from Soul Calibur IV, and here they are!

"First, he hails from the planet Tatooine. He was once everyone's favorite kid and pod-racer. Now he's a Sith Lord and right-hand man to Emperor Palpatine. I bring y'all Darth Vader!"

The Sith Lord walked slowly onto the stage with his arms crossed. Immediately he had a mixed greeting from the audience, though most of the Soul Calibur fans booed because of his slow speed. One gave him the finger, only to be picked up by Vader with a Force Choke and then thrown through the hole in the roof that no one had fixed yet. That caused an immediate silence. After that he greeted Highwayman Myth and took his seat.

"Okay folks, may this be an important lesson to never give a Sith Lord the finger. Now, our next guest is a Jedi Grand Master who was in exile on the swamp planet of Dagobah. I bring y'all, Yoda!"

The aged, half-sized Jedi Master hobbled on the stage supporting himself with his cane. Like Vader, he got a mixed greeting from the audience. And like Vader, he got boos from the Soul Calibur fans. Highwayman Myth was sure it was because Yoda was a cheep character due to his height. You can't even hit him half of the time. But like Vader, he threw the audience member through the hole in the ceiling that no one has fixed yet because they gave him the finger. After that, he greeted Highwayman Myth and sat two seats away from Vader. Everyone could tell that they were trying to resist battle.

"Ok, I guess that flipping the bird to Yoda is a bad thing to do as well folks. Well, our third guest hails from Kashyyyk. He is Vader's secret apprentice and very deadly with Force Lightning. I bring y'all Starkiller!"

The Sith apprentice was actually hiding in the rafters and jumped down onto the stage. After lading, he did some fancy moves with his light saber. The audience applauded for him way more than Vader or Yoda. It could be his flashiness, or the fact he was the best of the three guest characters in the game. Highwayman Myth only knew this, no one dared to give him the finger. That, and Highwayman Myth was only familiar with him in Soul Calibur IV. Today's host was only a fan of the original trilogy, though he liked the newer trilogy that took place before it. But that's another story. After greeting the host, Starkiller took his seat between Vader and Yoda.

"Ok people, we got the guests of Soul Calibur IV here. Now Yoda, why have you left your exile?" Highwayman Myth asked Yoda first out of the three guests.

"Very good question, that is. I sensed a disturbance in the Force…"

"Like we all have," Darth Vader interrupted.

Highwayman Myth knew that Vader was trying to start a fight here. Lucky for him, it takes more than that to piss Yoda off. But he wasn't prepared for a fight between users of The Force. Unlike the normal fights on this show, it would destroy what's left of the stage. After giving Vader an angry look, he asked Yoda to continue.

"A disturbance in the Force, I felt. Knowing that Vader and the Emperor might seek it, I did. So I left Dagobah to put a stop to the Emperor's scheme," he said.

"Sound's like a good reason to me. Now Vader, could you share with the audience why you seek the Soul Swords?" Highwayman Myth asked the Sith Lord.

"Like him, I felt a disturbance in the Force. So I investigated it and traced it to this Galaxy. As it turned out, the disturbance was the power of the swords Soul Edge and Soul Calibur. With those swords, I can finally overthrow the emperor." he said with a little bit of a roar in his tone.

"Ok, someone needs to lay off the coffee. Now Starkiller, what's your reason for seeking the Soul swords?" Highwayman Myth now asked the Apprentice.

"I'm just doing as my master orders," he said in a cold tone.

"Is that all?" Highwayman Myth asked to make sure.

"Yes," he coldly replied.

"No direction, he has," Yoda stated.

Again, a fight was about to brew. Highwayman Myth didn't know what to do. He figured that it might be best to stay out of it and let them destroy the stage. So he pulled out a cigarette and asked them for a light. Hopefully it would cause them to calm down. Yoda used his light saber and helped out the host. After Highwayman Myth started puffing on the cigarette, he noticed Vader's helmet looking at him.

"What, can't a guy smoke on TV anymore?" he asked.

"How dare you light that cigarette around me, don't you know that this helmet is an iron lung? Are you trying to kill me?" Vader asked in anger.

"I think someone needs to calm down," Highwayman Myth stated.

Right there, Darth Vader used his Force Choke on the host. This caused Highwayman Myth to drop his smoke while being deprived of air. Struggling, Highwayman Myth tried to reach for the pistol he used on Jay before the show. Though he managed to reach it, he was very close to death now. But he managed to point it at Vader and fire. The tranquilizer dart managed to hit Vader and knock the Sith Lord out. Highwayman Myth was barely alive, but the fresh oxygen going through his lungs was helping.

"I was told that smoking can kill, but this wasn't how I thought it would happen?" he said, causing a little bit of a laugh from the audience.

After that, he noticed Starkiller looking at him in anger. It to him a second to realize that he pissed the Apprentice off by shooting his master. He tried to calm Starkiller down, but it wasn't working. The young Sith charged at him with light saber drawn. Highwayman Myth barely dodged his attacks before Starkiller was floating in the air. He then used Force Lightning on today's host. Now Highwayman Myth knew what a 'shocking experience' felt like, as well as dropped the pistol. But Starkiller didn't stop there.

The Apprentice now came close and cut of Highwayman Myth's right arm below the elbow. This caused the host-of-the-day to scream in agony. But Starkiller stopped to hear out Highwayman Myth's rant.

"DAMMIT, JUST LIKE WHEN GREY FOX GOT REVOLVER OCELOT IN THE FIRST METAL GEAR SOLID!!!!!!!!" Highwayman Myth screamed.

Starkiller smirked in victory. But Highwayman Myth managed to pick the pistol off the ground and aimed again. Starkiller noticed and levitated again. Instead of Force Lighting, he did that move where he throws his light saber at the opponent and it returns like a boomerang. But Highwayman Myth managed to dodge it and fire before it came back to Starkiller. The Apprentice then fell from the air unconscious. Though it cost him an arm, Highwayman Myth won this fight.

"Why didn't you help me?" he asked Yoda while pulling out a fresh cigarette.

"My fight, it was not," the Grand Master simply replied.

After finally getting his Zippo lighter out of his right pants pocket with his left hand and lighting the smoke, he placed it in his left pants pocket and picked the pistol up off the floor. He then fired at Yoda. The Jedi Master simply stopped the dart with his Force powers. This caused Highwayman Myth to drop the pistol in shock. Yoda then turned it around threw it back at him using the Force. Highwayman immediately picked his severed limb and used it to intercept the dart. After that, he dropped the limb and decided to stop fighting.

"Foolish, that was." Yoda said before using the Force to retrieve his cane.

Highwayman Myth decided to just let him go. He already lost a limb, that was more than enough. He then looked to the audience. They were silent, which is rare. Today's host knew it was time to wrap things up.

"Well people, I guess that it's a wrap. Sadly, we never got to the problem. But we did have a somewhat epic fight today, y'all got to admit to that?" he said before picking his severed limb off of the stage.

"Nick!!!" an angered AngelEyes87 yelled before walking on the stage.

"What?" Highwayman Myth asked.

"The show is called _A Problem Aired is a Problem Shared_. You failed to get to their problem. Not to mention that you smoked on stage, ended up fighting with the guests, and lost a bloody limb!" said replied angrily.

Highwayman Myth finally dropped that cigarette out of his mouth in horror. He knew that he possibly screwed up his chance of forgiveness. Instead of replying, he started to run away with his severed limb. She then started to pursue him. Before getting off the stage, he managed to get in some final words.

"See y'all next time on _A Problem Aired is a Problem Shared_!" he said.

"Oh no you won't!" AngelEyes87 replied while still in pursuit.

**A/N: **Haha, despite losing an arm and having defeated the Apprentice as well as Darth Vader, it looks like Highwayman Myth's arse is going to get kicked by AngelEyes87 :P Oh, I'd like to thank Myth for writing the chapter as well. To be honest I was tempted to include the Star Wars characters in a chapter towards the end of the story in which Vader and his evil sidekick (Apprentice) were hosts of the show while I aired my problem. I don't know, maybe in the future I can air my problem while some other person can host the show :) And the next chapter will be about Hwang and Yun Seong so everything will be back on track once again!

And here's Highwayman Myth's author's note:

Author's Note: I had to edit something since me and Temptation of Lacuna are friends again. No, this doesn't mean that I'm posting the old PotM back up. However, possibilities of new co-ops with her are possible. Sorry that I didn't make the chaper any better while I was at it though.


	14. A Girl Worth Fighting For

**A/N: **Man, I can't believe it's Christmas right now and on that note it's been around two months since this was last updated. Heh, I've been busy writing so it's all good – be prepared to see another update from me, but this time it's a new oneshot I've been working on. It features Kilik and Xianghua (one of my favourite couples) and it's kinda like an angst/romance type of fic. That's right, other than writing humour I do like to write about serious things sometimes :) I'd like to thank you for not only for your patience, but your encouraging reviews and they are Razer Athane, yellow 14, Valkyrie Celes, Temptation of Lacuna, Highwayman Myth, ColinatorGX, Celestial Zodiac and Revelo. Anyway here is the long awaited Chapter 14 of 'A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared' and it mainly focuses on the characters Hwang Sung Kyung and Hong Yun Seong – thanks to Razer Athane and a few others, I'm now using the new spellings of the names instead of the old versions. Now I've always been a big fan of the Hwang and Mina pairing, but ever since Yun Seong arrived on the scene, I can imagine them two being rivals. In this chapter, both the fellas are fighting between themselves in order to win Mina's love, but which one will she choose…

**Disclaimer: **I've got a request, which I'm really pleased about! Highwayman Myth was kind enough to let me use Carter Nick once again.

Lucas: Just so you all you know that AngelEyes87 doesn't own the Soul Calibur as Namco owns them.

Carter Nick: However the cute AngelEyes87 does own Lucas and Jay (winks). Oh, by the way did you know the original Myth died?

Lucas: Huh? Really?! Why, what happened to him?

Carter Nick: Turns out Highwayman Myth wasn't saying shit about Myth – he died of AIDs as he had unprotected sex with a hooker from a brothel (sighs). God knows why he didn't wear a rubber...

Lucas: (frowning): Damn it! Myth was meant to be my rival for the affections of the beautiful yet deadly Kayley O'Mara.

Carter Nick: Oh well, looks like you're not gonna get that chance again, lover boy.

Lucas: Don't call me that...It's not even funny!

Carter Nick: Whatever, dude.

AngelEyes87 (walks up to them with laxatives in her hand): Hi guys, good to see you! (slightly smiles) Okay, here's the plan. Carter Nick, you keep watch just in case Jay comes along while I put the tablets in his coffee. I don't want us to get caught, understand?

Carter Nick: Gotcha! (walks away)

Lucas (watches AngelEyes87 as she pours some laxatives in Jay's coffee and starts to stir it with a spoon): So how long will it take for it to settle in?

AngelEyes87: I would say until the end of the show. (chuckles) I don't think he would know what will hit him.

Lucas: Serves him right though. You should be the presenter of the show as you're much talented than him, my dear.

Carter Nick: Guys, Jay's coming!

Jay: How long does it take to do a simple coffee these days, huh? Certainly it's not THAT hard! (glares at AngelEyes87) Stop flirting around!

AngelEyes87: Oh, eat dirt and die! (thrusts the coffee into his hand) Anyway don't I get a thank you?

Jay: Not with your bad attitude! (starts downing the coffee) Hold on, is it my imagination or does this coffee taste slightly different?

Carter Nick: It's one of Italy's finest coffees so yeah, it would have an unusual taste (rolls eyes) How much of a dumbass can you be?

Jay: To be honest I like it. (checks his wrist watch and puts down the empty cup) Well, it's time for me to leave now. See you guys later. (walks away)

AngelEyes87: Heh, I can't believe he fell for it! (smirks) Just he waits until the end of the show then he'll get a BIG surprise!

**A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared**

**By AngelEyes87**

**Chapter 14: A Girl Worth Fighting For**

"Hello, and welcome to today's show of _A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared_!" Jay greeted in an enthusiastic voice, giving the audience a slight wave. A wide grin appeared on his face while he chucked to himself. "As you all know by now, I am your host Jay and I bet you're all happy to see me as I am with you guys!"

Needless to say every single member of the audience was stunned as Jay was standing in the middle of the stage inside of what seemed to be a giant clear bubble ball made for hamsters. It was such a strange sight to behold as they could do nothing but to gape at him, their wide opened mouths almost touching the floor. Sensing that they were TOO interested in the hamster ball and not applauding or cheering him, Jay snorted in disgust and crossed his arms firmly over his chest with a moody expression on his face. 'Why the hell are they ALL staring at me as if I'm an alien from another planet?' Jay thought to himself. 'If they want to stare at something then they should have went to a freak show!' Just as Jay opened his mouth to make a sarcastic remark, a small eight year old boy from the front row of the audience threw an empty drink can at Jay, hitting the outside of the ball then bouncing off it, flying into a wall behind the audience. As soon as that happened the boy laughed with delight, happily clapping his hands as if to say he took pleasure from that little entertainment. Jay gritted his teeth in anger, trying to ignore the urge to snap at the brat. Why do some people end up having bloody children, Jay shall never know. As far as he was concerned if people couldn't control their kids then they shouldn't become parents in the FIRST place!

Jay firmly settled his gaze on the boy's mother, narrowing his eyes even further at her until she along with the audience had stopped laughing. "Madam, can you please tell your son to behave himself! If you don't comply with the rules then I'm afraid you have to be escorted from the premises. Do you understand me?"

"Of course!" she replied gently, smiling such a pleasant smile in the hopes to sweeten Jay up. Just as Jay was about to thank her for showing him some respect, her grin widened in a way that could only be described as devilish when she turned to her son, kissing him on the cheek. "What a good boy you are!"

To say the least Jay was slightly shocked as he didn't quite expect that to happen. In his mind he envisioned that maybe something will go right for him for once in his life. However it would seem that it was way too much to ask these days! At that moment Jay was wondering if someone from above had deliberately put a hoax on him so that everything will go wrong for him no matter how much he tries his hardest. Sighing in defeat, Jay shoved that thought to the back of his mind and decided to carry on with the show.

"As you may like to know, Razer and Hwoarang are still very much in love with each other meanwhile the last I've heard is that Olcadan, Edge Master, Heihachi and Han Myong are in rehab for their drink related problems," Jay explained, running a hand through his hair. He paused for a second before continuing speaking to the audience. "On last week's show AngelEyes87's ex had the unfortunate pleasure of hosting the show in which he broke pretty much ALL the rules. On the other hand the Apprentice as well as Darth Vader wants vengeance on him for shooting them while Yoda has returned to his home planet."

"Wait a damn minute here!" a young man yelled in protest from the third row in the audience. Jay turned to look at the person who interrupted him, rolling his eyes to the ceiling in the process. "Whatever happened to AngelEyes87 and Highwayman Myth after the show? Or don't you want to tell us about them, huh?"

"Look pal, does it look like I'm a mind reader here? Anyway it's not me who you should ask that question due to the fact I had been knocked out for a few hours by a tranquiliser gun."

"Ha, maybe you should be knocked out more often so we don't have to put up with you all the time!" the man retorted angrily, cracking his knuckles. Jay took this as a warning, deciding not to say anything. If it weren't for the fact that he wasn't inside his protective hamster ball then knowing his bad luck Jay would get seriously injured.

What he said about AngelEyes87 and her ex boyfriend was nothing but the truth as he absolutely didn't know have a clue as to what happened to them after the show. 'Damn that Highwayman Myth for ruining everything!' Jay thought, feeling slightly pissed off. Oh, the complete nerve of that American! To say the least after not presenting that one show all because of him going on holiday to Brazil, Jay was so looking forward to be back on the show again. His happiness was short-lived however as when he was busy getting his hair ready in his dressing room, he received a notice from the show's producer, saying that he wasn't to be the host for that show. At first he didn't take the news seriously, throwing away the piece of paper with a roar of laughter – he was under the impression that his boss was playing a prank on him. It took at least five minutes for the producer to convince Jay that someone else had replaced him to present the show. Instantly his anger got the better of him and he started to bash his head furiously up against a nearby wall in sheer frustration. How DARE someone do that to him the last minute?! He ought to find the new presenter and give them a good kick up the arse if they know what's good for them.

Unfortunately for him, things turned from bad to worse for him within a short period of time. Eventually he found AngelEyes87 backstage, confronted her and practically ACCUSED her of taking the presenter role from him. When they were in the middle of having a heated row, Highwayman Myth took this opportunity to barge on in them like a terrorist at a bloody tea party! Before Jay could think of a way to get revenge after finding out this intruder was deemed the new presenter, he passed out by taking a tranquiliser to the arm. Much to his surprise, a groggy Jay had woken up a few hours later to find himself locked in the studio when everyone else had gone home and forgot about him. For the remainder of that night he replayed the tape over and over again, furiously watching Highwayman Myth as he managed to get himself into a fight with both Vader and the Apprentice – not to mention he used the cheap-ass gun on them to take them down both. Jay couldn't help but to grin evilly when Highwayman Myth had lost half a limb during the battle, getting some sort of pleasure in watching him cry out in pain. However for the life of him he didn't know exactly what happened after when AngelEyes87 chased Highwayman Myth off the stage when she appeared to be in a mood with him. For the past week Jay has asked around, trying his best to get down to the bottom of this mystery. That was until AngelEyes87 discovered what he was doing which resulted in him getting a HARD slap from her while she demanded that he should mind his own business.

He was soon brought back down to earth when some of the audience members were clearing their throats, obviously hinting at the fact he should quit daydreaming and resume with the damn show. Jay realised that nowadays it was so difficult in pleasing people – just typical...Judging from the impatient glares that everyone was sending him, they were all impatiently waiting for him. Any minute now they looked as if they will all join forces together as a mob and give Jay the beating of his LIFE! As far as Jay was concerned that was not what he wanted most of all so he chose to heed the audience's unspoken warning.

Jay managed a low, nervous laugh. "Well today's show is about three Koreans – two of which are male warriors while the other one is a female. Having been trained in their beloved dojo for such a long time, it was no surprise that the daughter of their master had captured the hearts of these two young men. Now they are on a quest to prove their undying love for this special woman therefore her naturally falling in love with one or the other. Could you please welcome one of the two students onto stage, Captain Hwang Sung Kyung!"

Not even a second later a handsome man appeared on stage, smiling and nodding to the audience who were applauding him. Jay couldn't help but to feel jealous when he noticed that Hwang was appearing to be lapping up the attention that he was receiving. What has Hwang has got that Jay hasn't got already so to speak? Sure, most people who had met Jay would frequently say that he had dashing looks, but it seemed that Hwang had a way with people due to his charisma. 'God, I would love to take his sword and thrust it right up his BACKSIDE – let's see if people would LIKE him then!' Jay thought, actually tempting with carrying out the deed. A part of him expected Hwang to leap straight onto the floor and start doing energetic push-ups with one hand behind his back for God's sake! About a few seconds later, Hwang finally took a seat while glancing at Jay in a slight strange way, one of his eyebrows arched up out of curiosity. Jay noticed this straight away.

"What are you staring at?" he demanded coldly. It was clear to see that Jay wasn't in the mood to be dealing with petty insults or arguments, especially with a guest like Hwang.

"Is there a reason why you are in that hamster ball?" Hwang asked, gently prodding at the ball. Judging by the way Jay was narrowing his eyes at him, he was about to have a go. "Or is this a strange fetish that you have?"

"That's quite enough, thank you very much!" Jay hissed through clenched teeth, feeling his cheeks heating up out of embarrassment due to the audience sniggering their heads off at Hwang's clever remark. Mentally he counted to ten in his head to calm himself down. "If you MUST know, the reason why I am in this giant hamster ball is that near enough every show I get injured and it really gets on my damn nerves. Therefore absolutely NOTHING from the outside can harm me as long as I'm protected by staying inside."

Hwang shook his head in disbelief, not knowing what to make out of the reason. "Jay, all I can say to you is that you must be a wuss if you do not know how to defend yourself properly – no offence of course."

"Oh, so we have a comedian now?" Jay retorted sarcastically, getting even more agitated at being called a wuss. 'Does it look as if I wield a sword, doing fancy twirls and yelling battle cries that sound like as if I have been set on fire? I don't think so!' he thought angrily. "Anyway, please tell us a bit about yourself, Hwang."

"Well for as long as I remember I have been brought up with a strong sense of justice. Even though I was born into a poor family living on next to nothing basically, I still had a good childhood with a loving mother and father who were always there for me," Hwang explained modestly. Suddenly his smile had faltered just a little as tears formed his eyes, lightly running down his cheeks. "After my eighth birthday my parents were taken ill by sickness. Unfortunately they both passed away and that was when my world was turned upside down – it had devastated the very core of me."

Instantly at that precise moment Jay felt a twinge of guilt. Poor guy, he must have endured such a deep loss at such a tender young age. Jay couldn't help but to feel sympathy for Hwang despite the fact both his parents were still alive and well. Because of this, he couldn't exactly admit to know how Hwang must feel due to not having firsthand experience of the situation. Maybe Jay was in the wrong to have labelled Hwang as nothing but a conceited smartarse who likes to give airs and show off in order for people to like him. He realised that Hwang was nothing like that – instead here was a man who had fierce determination to succeed in life. Now that was the kind of person Jay would look up to without a single doubt!

"Gosh, I'm so sorry to hear about the tragic loss of your parents. What happened next?"

"After my parents' death I knew I had to strengthen myself up so I set my gaze firmly on being a seasoned warrior. Naturally I became interested in sword-play and it wasn't before then I had enrolled myself into a dojo run by my master, Seung Han Myong. From the start I knew he must have seen something special in me as he took me under his wing, giving me private lessons."

Even though he didn't get the chance to meet Han Myong when he was on the show a few weeks back. Jay would often associate the senior warrior with him getting himself drunk on national live TV, making a fool out of himself while crying his eyes out over his only daughter. As far as he was concerned, Jay deemed Han Myong as an overprotective father who would most likely throw a hissy fit if he caught his daughter in the act of kissing her date at the front door. Jay cringed just thinking about it – imagine having to live with a dad like that! Surely his poor daughter had to suffer quite a lot of hassle while growing up.

"Uh...your master sounds like a good man," Jay said softly, trying to choose his words correctly. He dare not mention his master's terrible drinking problem to Hwang's face otherwise there'll be hell to pay...

"That he is," a proud Hwang agreed, grinning widely.

"So I understand that you had the pleasure of meeting your master's daughter," Jay commented politely. "I bet you liked that experience very much so."

Upon hearing that, Hwang chuckled, his dark brown eyes lighting up. "Ah yes, Mina. She's different to most women I've encountered, always bit of a tomboy when she was growing up alongside me. When we were quite young she would constantly follow me around like a little sister would do and she'd force me to watch her practice her moves with her zanbatou."

"Aww, how cute!" exclaimed Jay, laughing deeply. "That reminds of a time when I was around six years old, I had a crush on this girl who was two years older than me. I would practically go wherever she went, trying to get her to notice me. That was until one day she told me to leave her alone AND she even punched me in the face!"

"Ah well, that's life for you," Hwang remarked, casually leaning back in his chair. The Korean crossed his leg over another, obviously enjoying the chat. "Back to the story at hand when Mina first hit sixteen, THAT was when the problems began."

Jay was slightly shocked to hear that as his mouth slightly parted while his eyebrows were furrowed. Problems – what sort of problems were there anyway? There must be a something more to the story and Jay wanted to find out immediately. It didn't matter how bad it might be because this was turning out to be an interesting story so far.

"Why, did she get a boyfriend and you felt jealous of it?" Jay questioned, scratching the back of his head. At this Hwang frowned, a serious look etched on his face. From this, Jay somehow knew that his guess was incorrect.

"No, she didn't," Hwang replied, sighing. "Let's just say that she developed a mind of her own and she questioned everything what her father told her without a second thought. Hell, whenever boys from the neighbourhood teased her about her looks she wasn't afraid to give them a beating of their life. It really never ceases to amaze me."

Jeez, she sounded like a right stroppy brat when she was a teenager then! Even if a boy would give her a compliment or whatever, Jay wouldn't be surprised if she gave them a kick in the balls. Damn, talk about playing hard to get.

"And that's not all," Hwang added gently. Jay's head quirked to the side, anticipating what he was about to say next. "My master had an idea that Mina should settle down and get married. I was to be the chosen suitor because I was the favourite student so he wished to adopt me as a son and then from there, take Mina as my wife."

Wait a damn minute, was he mishearing things here? Mina's father wanted to welcome Hwang into the family as his son and then wanted him to marry his daughter, a woman who was already like a SISTER to Hwang when they were growing up?! 'Oh my God!' Jay thought horrified as the realisation dawned on him. That's practically like incest! Jay wondered what other crazy schemes that Hwang was forced to be part of no thanks to his crafty master...

"God, I hope you didn't accept his offer of marrying Mina then, Hwang," Jay told the Korean, cringing slightly. Please say that he didn't otherwise Jay might do something like throw up or faint to the floor in shock! "If I were you then I would be running screaming into the hills."

Hwang shook his head, confirming his unspoken answer. Jay breathed out a sigh of relief – that meant Hwang refused the idea.

"You see, Mina wasn't the kind of girl who was keen on the idea of getting married and having children. When her dad suggested she should marry me, she basically blamed me for PUTTING the idea into HIS head. She also called me a greedy man who wanted to inherit the dojo if something bad happens to him. I didn't want to get married at the time because I was more concerned with joining up to the Coast Guard therefore I could seek Soul Edge in order to protect my country against the impending Japanese invasion."

"Looks like you had valid reasons there," Jay drawled, smiling slightly. "So Hwang, it is true that during both quests to seek the sword you had to drag Mina back home while she was kicking and screaming?"

Hwang nodded, recalling the times in which Mina caused so much trouble for him. "Oh, she was none too happy when I finally found her and brought her back home to her father on both occasions."

"Ha, I bet!" Jay was curious about something as he wondered that Hwang might be in love with Mina as he kept on mentioning about her all the time. He was so sure of it that if there was a bet on it, he would put in a handsome amount of money. "So is it right to assume that for a few years you had a crush on her and now you want her all to yourself?"

"Exactly!" Hwang confirmed animatedly. Just then Jay was rendered confused as a dark look of fury was plastered on Hwang's face, his expression hardening by the second. Not only that but Hwang clenched his hand tightly around the hilt of his sword, his knuckles turning a deathly white colour. "BUT another student by the name of Yun Seong is standing in my way from making Mina mine as he too is in love with her. I just want to tell him to back the hell away from her so that she will be with me!"

"Well since we have Yun Seong backstage this is your chance to comfort him about it. Folks, would you please give it up for Hong Yun Seong!"

Much to everyone's surprise including Jay's while the audience was cheering, Yun Seong didn't walk onto the stage – it was none other than AngelEyes87 followed by Carter Nick and Lucas. When he caught a glimpse of the trio, Jay's suspicions were instantly aroused. What on earth possessed them to unexpectedly turn up halfway through the show when Jay was presenting? Surely there had to be a logical reason or explanation behind the intrusion. Jay could do nothing but to glare at them, wishing that the floor would open up and swallow all THREE of them. Instead of being annoyed, Hwang nodded to them as a way of a greeting. In return AngelEyes87 smiled back at the Korean before turning to a fuming Jay.

"You better have a GOOD reason why the three of you are on MY stage right now!" he challenged them, currently huffing and puffing. "You know that you can't be here without any permission so go away."

"Jay, as much as I don't want to argue with you, please can you keep quiet and listen to me," AngelEyes87 informed sweetly. If he wouldn't co-operate with her then she wouldn't hesitate to make the rest of his life a living misery if possible – he literally was asking for it. "The reason why we're here is because the producer of the show advised us to be on stage in case a fight might break out between the two guests."

What she said was in fact a lie. Lucas, Carter Nick and AngelEyes87 all made an agreement on sabotaging the show just to watch their plan unfold. Once the laxatives finally starts to kick in then she will have her revenge – Jay will be made into a laughing stock all around the world! Fortunately Jay seemed to have bought it as instead of protesting like he usually did, his facial expression confirmed that he understood it perfectly.

"Fine," said Jay, shrugging his shoulders casually as if to say he couldn't care less about the matter. "But if any of you cause any trouble then I'll be kicking you off my stage, understand?"

"We promise," Lucas told him in an assuring voice. Little did Jay know that when he said that, Lucas had crossed his fingers behind his back. In seeing that, AngelEyes87 and Carter Nick had to bite down on their lips to restrain themselves from bursting into a fit of giggles.

"You know what, I am so tempted to poke fun out of his hamster ball," Carter Nick whispered quietly to AngelEyes87, grinning boyishly. In response she just winked at her male companion.

"Nah, I wouldn't bother, Carter Nick. Save your laughter for later on."

Just about Carter Nick was about to reply, Jay decided to interrupt him. "So my SWEET AngelEyes87, now that you're here maybe you can tell us what happened with your ex Highwayman Myth as we're all DYING to know!"

"Uh, Nick and I went out and we had a drink."

"Yes, and?"

"And we talked about our former relationship and we made amends with each other – that's all."

Jay sighed deeply, clearly disappointed that nothing juicy happened. "Heh, what a bummer that was."

For a moment or so AngelEyes87 recalled back to their last meeting. Last week after the show had ended she managed to catch up with Highwayman Myth while she was in hot pursuit of him backstage. To say the least he was astonished that despite the fact she weighed around ten pounds lighter than him; she successfully tackled him to the ground by pouncing on him like an infuriated lioness. To stop him from making a quick escape she straddled him and she started to hit him with a nearby cushion, ignoring his loud protests. While AngelEyes87 continued to vent out her frustrations on Highwayman Myth, both of them didn't notice that Zasalamel appeared out of nowhere, took Highwayman Myth's severed arm and then vanished, unfazed by the drama that was taking place. In a futile attempt to calm her down, he reached out a hand to stop her but somehow by accident his hand came into contact with her left breast. This had caused a stunned AngelEyes87 to drop the cushion, a gasp escaping her mouth while an awkward silence lingered between the ex lovers. A few seconds later she angrily slapped his hand away, calling him an arsehole before getting to her feet again.

After a while Highwayman Myth noticed that his severed limb was missing and they started to look for his arm. Unfortunately they realised that someone must have taken it during their childish fight. Feeling sorry for him, AngelEyes87 suggested they should call a truce which Highwayman Myth agreed to and afterwards they went to a pub not so far from the studio. When their drinks came they began discussing their break up as mature adults, which was something they hadn't dared talk about within a few months. Just as things were running smoothly AngelEyes87 was shocked that Highwayman pulled out a cigarette in her presence – when they were together he never smoked once. Without even thinking she snatched the cigarette from his mouth before he lit it, breaking it in half while his eyes widened a considerable amount, not believing what she just done. He rewarded her with a stern look, reaching out to get another one from the pack until his ex had taken the damn pack away from him. Highwayman Myth suspected that she would do something like that because she didn't like seeing him smoke. It had been a difficult time but they finally sorted things out and they became friends again. However no matter how hard she tried she couldn't shake off the feeling that he might have regretted spending a year and two months with her – that saddened her a bit as he was her first love. Even just thinking about it right now made her feel bewildered.

"The thing is I don't know if I was special to him during our time together," she admitted, hugging herself. The men including Hwang stared at AngelEyes87 with concern in their eyes. Immediately Carter Nick came to her side and put a comforting arm around her shoulder, turning her around so he could see her properly. What came out of his mouth was totally unexpected though.

"Who are you and what have you done to my friend AngelEyes87?" he asked slowly. He was a little taken back by her sudden change in behaviour as he always admired the young woman for her adorable sense of humour.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad me and Nick are friends again but I get the impression that he didn't consider our former relationship important or anything."

"Hmm, my advice for you is to ask him yourself instead of thinking negative thoughts," Hwang suggested, sending her a warm look. "Only he can provide you with the answers."

"Oh, speak of the devil!" Jay chimed in, pointing over her shoulder while chuckling to himself. "THERE is Highwayman Myth!"

Realising that she really and truly have been caught out in the act, AngelEyes87 slightly panicked as she heard footsteps heading her direction from behind. She rapidly span around, expecting to see her ex boyfriend a few inches from where she was standing. However all that she saw was a red-haired good looking man walking onto the stage, armed with White Storm; waving to the audience that was now cheering. She cursed herself for her foolishness while Jay laughed mockingly at how he tricked her.

"Welcome to the show, Yun Seong," Jay greeted him. "Please take a seat."

Instead of listening to Jay, Yun Seong was more interested in his current rival. He puffed out his chest, smiling tauntingly at Hwang while sizing him up. Naturally Hwang rose to the challenge as he stood up slowly, glaring at the younger man. Jay could tell for a fact that Hwang was trying to keep his temper in check.

"You know something, ever since you have come into my life all those years back you have been nothing but a pain in the arse," he told Yun Seong, firmly crossing his arms over his chest. "Why do you insist in standing in my way when it comes to winning Mina's affections?"

Yun Seong briefly shrugged his shoulders while he ran a hand through his red locks of hair, smirking. "Oh, come on! YOU know as much as I do that Mina wouldn't be interested in an old FART like you. She needs someone who is a bit closer to her age and that just happens to be me."

"One question though," Jay chimed in thoughtfully, raising both hands in the air. "What exactly has Hwang ever done to make you hate you, Yun Seong?"

"Believe it or not this guy right here was my childhood icon," the younger Korean admitted, gesturing to Hwang who snorted in contempt at the statement. Yun Seong ignored that and carried on with his story. "While I was growing up I wanted to be like Hwang – he was the MAIN reason why I became a student at the school. When I achieved many skills with the sword, I considered him as a rival, a goal that I must surpass."

Right away Jay didn't like Yun Seong from the second he even opened his bloody mouth! He was nothing but an arrogant young man who had his head shoved right up his arse so it would seem. 'I hope Hwang does something about him otherwise if he don't then I would gladly do it!' Jay thought, staring with disgust at his guest. Visions of him pushing Yun Seong off a very high cliff suddenly filled Jay's head. That would be a perfect way of getting rid of him for good! With that thought, a cruel smile appeared on Jay's face.

"Anyway I heard some news from the students that Hwang was on his way back from his overseas journey," Yun Seong continued, breaking the silence. "From the first day of his arrival I took that as an opportunity to challenge him to a duel so that he can acknowledge my awesome prowess. But being the CHICKEN-SHIT that he is, he turned me down without any consideration!

"That was because I was more concerned with rejoining the Coast Guard to fight off the Japanese dogs," Hwang defended himself, taking a few steps forward towards Yun Seong to give him a good punch. Out of quick thinking AngelEyes87 put a hand on Hwang's chest to stop him, shaking her head. "So all along you held a grudge against me just because I didn't give you that fight that you badly wanted?"

Yun Seong clapped his hands a few times sarcastically. "Well done, Captain Obvious. Now that we're here why don't we have that battle to see which one of us is the best."

"That wouldn't be a wise decision, Yun Seong." Hwang paused for a second or so, remembering something. "Anyway I thought you had a girlfriend already. You seem to be quite taken with Talim if my memory serves me correctly. What happened to her?"

"Oh, HER!" he exclaimed, shuddering slightly. For as long as he shall live he wished to God that he would forget about the young pure-minded priestess. "I had to end things with her on the account that her obsession with the wind freaked me out. Every time we went on dates, she would always consult with the wind on what we should do, where should we go and other things like that. A few times I've even caught her actually TALKING to herself, claiming she is speaking with the wind."

"Man, that must suck," Jay murmured to himself under his breath. He couldn't exactly blame Yun Seong for breaking up with Talim as if Jay was dating the girl, he would have done the same thing.

"Due to the fact things didn't work out with Talim doesn't mean you can try and take Mina away from me," Hwang threatened, not tearing his glance off Yun Seong. "You knew I've had feelings for her for a while now. I mean, what makes you think that she'll come running into your arms?"

"Ah, because I have something planned up my sleeve."

"And what would that be, Yun Seong?"

"I will do the one thing that you could NEVER do. One of these days I will possess Soul Edge and then with the sword in my hand, I will protect my country and defeat the Japanese. That way she's bound to fall in love with me."

"Ha, you're both as bad as one another," Lucas remarked, tutting quietly. Yun Seong and Hwang both looked at Lucas, surprised and bewildered. "I don't Mina will fall in love with any of you two. Has the thought ever occurred to you that she might have met someone else?"

"SHUT UP!" the two Koreans growled at the same time. Lucas didn't look at all impressed by their rudeness – he was merely making his own opinion. What a bunch of fools they were...Jay could only send a look of sympathy to Lucas. Yun Seong and Hwang turned to another, resuming their argument.

"Let's face it, it seems that I have become more popular than you," Yun Seong bragged, laughing. "And you want to know why? It's because Namco has replaced your sorry arse with me for the past few games! How do you like me now, bitch?!"

If there's one thing that Hwang couldn't stand for was the fact that he had absolutely no solid place in the game series. He USED to be the main star but now that Yun Seong had waltzed into his life, the eighteen year old spoilt brat was given all the glory! Oh, he was going to make him take back what he said one way or the other.

"Ha, well everyone knows that you're not a natural red-head!" Hwang retorted, gaining a sense of satisfaction when Yun Seong's smirk was wiped off his face. Hwang couldn't care less as his rival glared at him with hate. "You have to dye your hair red every six months!"

"YOU BASTARD!"

Without saying anymore, a stunned Jay and AngelEyes87 could only watch in amazement as Yun Seong lunged at Hwang – it wasn't before then they were involved in a fierce duel with their swords. 'Wow, both of them have to be really serious if they're fighting over a girl like that' Jay thought, marvelling their sword techniques that they were currently displaying. Wasting no time, Lucas and Carter Nick rushed forward, intervening the two Korean males fighting while narrowing avoiding the swipes of their blades.

A few seconds later a feminine voice yelled out from behind them. "Will you two just stop it right now!"

Immediately Hwang and Yun Seong lowered their weapons, instantly recognising that familiar voice. All of them turned to look behind them to see an attractive young woman standing there, dressed in a green and pink top displaying their bare midriff along with a matching skirt that had side splits, revealing her slender thighs. Jay couldn't help but to ogle at her beauty. 'Damn, she is one hot looking babe!' he thought, appearing to be in a trance. Seong Mina stood rooted to the spot, obviously pissed off as she narrowed her eyes at Yun Seong and Hwang.

"How pathetic can you two possibly get?!" Mina screeched at them. Both men briefly stared down at the floor, ashamed. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned indeed! "You're both full grown men and yet you two are ARGUING over me as if I'm like a damn prize to be won!"

Jay cleared his throat, causing Mina to glance at him. "So which fella do you choose?"

"None! Hwang, you had lost my respect when you took me out on a date, got drunk in the process and you had the NERVE to shove your tongue down my throat while touching me up."

Upon hearing that, Hwang blushed a deep shade of red as the memories came flooding back to him. Ever since his dreadful mistake she never once lived it down for his sake. Yun Seong started laughing out of sheer amusement but he immediately stopped when he noticed that Mina was now glaring at him.

"And as for you Yun Seong, you're just an immature braggart. I am fed up with constantly searching for you during my travels for Soul Edge!" she snapped. Now she realised how Hwang must have felt every time he had to bring her back home when she ran away. "I should have pushed you OFF the edge when I found you sitting there at Ostrheinsburg chapel."

Yun Seong's mouth dropped down to the floor, flabbergasted. "Huh?!"

"Besides I want you all to meet my new lover, Assassin," Mina said with a smile. Just then Assassin walked onto stage, dressed in dark clothes. The most distinguishing thing about him was the fact his entire face was covered by a mask with slits at the front to reveal both his brown eyes. A smug Lucas smiled widely as his predicament came true – they really should have listened to him. On the other hand, Jay was wondering why the hell was Assassin wearing a mask – it could either be that he wanted to conceal his identity or his face resembles that of a back of a bus.

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Assassin yelled triumphantly, twirling his sword in the air above his head before holding it in front of Yun Seong and Hwang, intending to mock them further.

"Right, I know that we're rivals, but let's put our differences to one side, Yun Seong," Hwang murmured.

Yun Seong nodded his head. "I agree. NOW LET'S GET HIM!"

Assassin cheekily gave them both the finger before running off the stage with a pissed off Yun Seong and Hwang chasing after him. In response Mina rolled her eyes up to the ceiling, growling under her breath as she stormed off to stop her lover from getting beaten to a bloody pulp.

"Ha, I'm glad I'm inside in this ball as I wouldn't like to have had anything happen to-" Jay's words died in mid sentence as his stomach began rumbling loudly. He looked down at himself in a confused way before he doubled up over with a groan as he can literally feel his bowels threatening to release. 'God, what the hell is happening to me?" he thought as he had a sudden urge to go to the toilet straight away. AngelEyes87 chuckled to herself as her plan was now working – the laxatives were doing their magic!

"Boys, you know what to do!"

Just as Jay was about to exit the stage, he watched in surprise as Carter Nick and Lucas stood on either side of the ball, holding it in place so he couldn't move.

"I'm afraid we have run out of time for this show and please join us next week for _A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared_," Jay announced in a strangled voice as he couldn't hold it in any longer. "Great, I think I've just shit my pants!"

**A/N: **You know what, I am so proud of myself to finally complete this chapter as I really worked hard on it, lol! Anyway I don't think I would like to be in Jay's shoes, but at least he looked like a right fool. The next character that I'll be focusing on is Talim as her parents are worried about her ongoing obsession with the wind – plus another character is going to present the show with Jay next. Other than that, I want to wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I hope that all of you got what you wanted and remember, have fun and be safe :)


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